IN HER THOUGHTS

📸photographers.official It's almost 7 AM but right now I don't really care. In fact, the clamour as boys rush to finish up and head to class is most irritating to me. My tummy grumbles. I don't recall when I last put something in it. For the past three days, my appetite has been shite. Yesterday I tried the fries Ian brought me but threw them up almost as soon as they landed in my tummy. "Hey man, you need to get out of bed," Ian says. "Class starts in a jiffy." "I'm not attending."  To be honest, the class is the last thing on my mind.  I'm thinking of the tiny blue pills the school doctor gave me for my condition. After which he recommended bed rest since they'd leave me feeling drowsy. Apparently, t here's nothing much wrong with me. And that I should simply sleep my trouble off.  "This will be the third day in a row." Ian has a worried look. "Don't you think you should go home instead?"  Ian seems to

In Her Thoughts Hi there, I'm back! It's been a while. Between work and relationshiping, writing had taken back seat. Not intentionally but it just didn't make it to the to-do list. Somehow I was too tired, or too busy or too... well, not just motivated. I've seen good moments worth long paragraphs of words. I've seen sad moments that suck all words in a vacuum you can't seem to ink them. Maybe that's the reason why I've stared at a blank page/screen for long knowing what I want to write but failing to express through ink. Creative block is better at least there is effort. My body was tired. Status update, I landed a new job, HOORAY! A momentary bliss of assurance that I'm good at something if I put my all. Being part of social change, looking back and say the day wasn't bad after all, I helped a soul. Fulfilling. Yes. Demanding. Yes. Draining. By now you get where I'm heading.  Maybe that's the reason why I've been quiet. The feeling

I’m staring at this page It’s been a while I divorced the mirror I can’t stand the view It confronts me And that’s a no. I see an image A reflection of living on the edge Pain at the tip of my eyes Tired of holding this river Heavy on demons Being strong but broken inside Ouch, it hurts right now. Nobody knows my pain But I have one more fight. So… Lend me your smile, days are gone I know not mine Lend me your height, I’ve heard everything looks good from a birds view Spirits high, a scenic view of highs Not the marijuana high, but a hopeful view undiluted by lows I want to be high all the time, please lend me your height for this climb. Today it hurts, but the sun will rise and we will try again.

📸the.photographers.official  Every day you wake up, open yourself to the world or keep to yourself you're bound to feel some type of way. It may be positive or negative, meaning it's a stimulus to what you expose yourself prompting automatic reactive behaviour. This is an essential survival need, our coping mechanism differ from one person to another. Ever feel like a victim in nearly every situation? You might be part of the people we're talking about today. Linking back to my last series I Forgot How To Feel there's a flip side where people feel  but negatively. Allow me to take you to an Instagram post, "What if mental health disorders are actually unresolved emotional trauma in disguise." It got me thinking that there are so many contributing factors that make us and the way we regulate emotions. In this case having a victim mentality.  If you're susceptible to chaos or see yourself as a victim in many situations, you're drawn into

📸the.photographers.official  Have you ever been so out of touch with yourself? You’re one person when you’re in public and another when you’re alone. Moments where you’re shaken with the words you say or how you act when you’re around certain company. It’s like you’ve bipolar personalities, each day you see yourself fade away to a point you can’t recognize the person in the mirror. Adjusting to an environment it’s all fun and games, I highly recommend it’s a needed skill. But don’t get too comfortable in that place, remember there’s a time and place for everything. The question is when is it too much? And is it worth depriving yourself to become a social chameleon? If you have had these feelings, and you’re constantly trying to prove your worth to people. You seriously need to shift your thinking. Entertaining people who are always on the bubble, who can talk about you any way they like and not treat you well should be the thing of the past. Sometimes we tolerate crap in

📸the.photographers.official  There’s nothing more fulfilling than a sip of positivity on a mundane day. It warms the soul, the push that’s much needed to get things done. Even Mr Ego. Mrs Independent. Sir Workaholic. And Madam Creativity needs it. No matter how you think you're built, we all need something to hope for. That which drives us to wake up every morning beaming with hope on our sail through the waves of life. It's a new month. This September let your hair down, chanel your energy and take self-doubt by it's horns. Of course, you’ll second guess yourself 80% of the time, the shadow of dissatisfaction can be intense. But do your best anyway, live out each moment to its fullest moment. This also translates to throwing your all every time at anything you'll be doing. Shoot for perfection. Yes, I said it. The P-word is controversial. People gasp for air as if it's profanity. It’s overzealous some might say, but if you shoot for average you’

📸shubilak If I Stay would you hold me like the first time, Filled with assurance and words pregnant with emotions Only our hearts know, Every heartbeat, a love song. A safe haven in your arms. If I stay would you hold me like you used to, Where you did all you could, Effort was your middle name, Words of affirmation were in your vocabulary, Acts of service your daily workout to burn out the anxiety and negativity. If I stay would you finish your sentences, Use all syllables in your words to show you're here, The shorthand always feels like it's rushed, Would you make me your main plan, Not the 'Oh sorry, I was about to', 'I'm so busy right now' or 'What if we do it tomorrow?' last minute texts. If I stay would you be more intentional and not get too comfortable, Care a little bit more about my day and dreams, It's all in the little things, But they varnished with the sunsets, And present new dilemmas as the sun rose,