Body Acceptance Chronicles: I Learnt To Love The Changes In My Body

Body Acceptance Chronicles: I Learnt To Love The Changes In My Body
📸 Marie-Michele Bouchard
 

Our little conversations always carry the weight I wish the eyes would acknowledge. We keep muttering and playing with our words: you are enough but, we can not seem to convince the mind. We grew up a chubby baby for most of our life, sly comments here and there, but that is what was familiar and defined us. As we blossomed, our love grew. The height balanced out weight, whilst the weight balanced out the boobs. We were picture perfect.

A sudden extreme change in our relationship came with an untimely illness that complicated our relationship. I will not deny it. I had and still have difficulties paying attention. It was a stranger, and Mama taught me never to talk to strangers. It was new territory. I felt lost. People always whispered I should lose weight but what "should" have been a dream turned my life into a nightmare.

Even after preparing, many people would still be surprised when the changes crop up.

It was my reality. The changes in our body weight affected the work of hormones in the body. Instead of having peace of mind, the body insecurities spiralled and not having single clothing that fit made it worse. It triggered long sleepless nights, fast kicking self into a survival mood. I intensely devoted most of my energy towards changing our appearance and struggle to feel at peace or enjoy our daily life.

In our journey, we have come to know that I should write a love letter to you. Apologize for neglecting you, and thank you for being a habitat for the mind, heart, and spirit — aspects that drive personality and self-identity, making us the person we are. For a long time, we have let our experience define us.  I now believe what I give you will tailor your beliefs and convictions.
 
Today I accept the reality: to listen, care, and love you for what you do for me and not your appearance. I choose to face it with love and kindness. It is not easy, but I will look back to the past with appreciation. Look at the present with acceptance. And look at the future with expectance.



Comments

  1. Hannah Arinaitwe WritesSeptember 27, 2021 at 4:13 PM

    This is a lovely writing ....as personal as it is for you, its kind of a story so many people are going through . Thank you for sharing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In Her ThoughtsSeptember 30, 2021 at 10:02 PM

      Thank you for reading, I really appreciate your feedback 😊

      Delete
  2. Musanjufu BenjaminSeptember 27, 2021 at 4:17 PM

    We always have to keep an open mind

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In Her ThoughtsSeptember 30, 2021 at 10:03 PM

      That's true, it's a process and I'm glad I have reached that stage. I wish it for everyone too.

      Delete
  3. Thick'n'StylishSeptember 28, 2021 at 2:02 AM

    This is a beautiful piece of writing. The ending even more satisfying. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Macantá the intellectual withinSeptember 28, 2021 at 2:40 PM

    Ohh dear thanks for sharing. I can relate with this story so much.

    I remember those times I had a body almost everyone's dream but along the way my best features lost way too much flesh due to different factors; some I wanted while others I didn't want.

    People who knew the old me would always ask me what had happened. It became a battle of the mind but I learnt how to appreciate the new me everyday and I love me more. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  5. In Her ThoughtsSeptember 30, 2021 at 10:06 PM

    Thank you queen, I appreciate your feedback. It feels good sharing a part of you and in the process help others. Thank you for sharing your experience 😊

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dating Someone Who Knows Your Mental Health Is Everything Part 2

Image
📸prettisusu It’s been a minute, last time we discussed about how it’s important to know where your partner stands in terms of them being aware of their mental stability. I reckon it’s a must, it saves a lot of surprises and frustrations because you know who you dealing with. If you haven’t read the article click here , so we are on the same page. I have in a fair share of relationships and it has been a hard journey of knowing how to show up for my partner/friends/family in ways they need me to vs ways I’m comfortable with. It was so easy for me to commit to a routine that was came easy to me like responding fast or make them laugh but I realized sometimes a person just wants you to listen or give them full attention, to feel your presence with no distractions. Hence, this article, please show up for people in your life in ways they need. So what am I saying? Let me explain. Just show up and pay attention to what your partner actually needs. Don’t assume, don’t generalize we are all u...
Read more

We Are Only But Pawns In A Game Of Chase

Image
📷 Apaha Spi Broken dreams, broken souls We are all a mess, a fallen generation We bleed, but nobody cares Somehow it is our fault We cry, nobody listens All they care about is more coin in their pockets We’re only but pawns In a game, we cannot fathom Our pain in their eyes is unnecessary drama, Our sorrow gives them an adrenaline rush, Our struggle is their entertainment They thrive from our sweat, blood and tears As it pours, so does coin drop in their pockets Every dime we earn they find ways to chuff it To them it is change, to us, it is means of survival Greedy grim reapers are what they are Always scheming of ways to suck the last coin out of us The pain inflicted by the people we traded for our hope and future It worsens by the day, but we continue to sing songs of hope It is not by choice, it is a survival instinct The thought of better days is what is keeping us sane, Nowhere to turn, refuge is the new slave To stay and ...
Read more