To The Person Who Still Feels Alone In A Room Full Of Loved Ones.

We spend most of our time working to keep food on the table, learning new skills or on our phones. Now amidst of this world chaos and pandemic we would think we are more connected than ever before, yet we feel more isolated. We live under the same roof and even reconnect with old friends, family members or colleagues, yet we feel like we have fewer intimate connections that generations before us.

Surrounded but alone! If Corona has taught us anything, it’s that we have all been pushed to realize that we are surrounded by familiar strangers. Strangers who carry the same last name as ours but we don’t have any valuable connection with them. We are just lonely souls drifting within the same four walls. You can hear them breathing slowly, frantic typing on mobile phones, flash capture of selfies and music blasting but yet you can't feel their presence. Literally we are just roommates cohabitating in the same house.

Why do we feel alone?

You crave closeness

I hope I’m not too late but I should have said this first day of #LockDown. Choose wisely who you are going to be locked down with! “How our brain work is it creates, monitors, nurtures and retain social connections. So, it doesn’t matter whether you actually have these connections. What is important is whether you feel you have them.” What am I saying? We crave closeness and once we don’t have that feeling of being understood and valued, feeling of closeness, we feel alone.

You find socializing exhausting

After a life of a 9 to 5 job, boarding 2 kombis  (Zupcos and police checkpoints) to get home and getting home when everyone has slept. It can get overwhelming having everyone in your face and on your case for 21 days straight, now extended until futher notice or the new normal. Having to make small talks. While it can be enjoyable to catch up on the surface, it doesn’t make you feel closer to those around you.

You need Quality vs Quantity Relationships

You can have many friends or family but still feel alone. Relationships are two-way and if one side is not reciprocating it can trigger feelings of isolation. Developing relationships doesn’t mean you’re always dumping your problems but you’re developing a connection and it’s mutual.

You have your guard up

It’s possible that you are surrounded by people who have their guard up or you are the one who is guarded. No one wants to see themselves as the problem, but it is good to know how you’re possibly contributing to your isolation. Sharing your self can be scary, but you have to start somewhere.

Spend too much time on your phone / social media

Technology can be a real downer. It is impossible to have a conversation nowadays without a person checking their phone or social media. It gives us a sense of connection but hurt our face to face interactions.

Where do we go from here?

• Create a new routine to break the ice and create meaningful connections (exercise together, stay social, cook together or sit down and actually have a conversation)

• Appreciation and Reflections: Tell each other what you like about them, what they need to work on, what you are proud of, apologize for any miscommunications and mistakes, what you are grateful or any other things you can think of.

• Stay entertained: find new hobbies as a family, play games like 5 seconds, watch shows or movies and discuss after, form a family book club or teach your parents virtual games to create connections.

Remember #TogetherWeCan! Let’s use this time to heal the wounds, get to know each other and reconnect.