IN HER THOUGHTS

Julian Myles Loyalty is one of the characteristics that tops everyone's list for someone to have within a relationship. It is an act of freedom where you choose who and what to give your commitment, respect, and affection. Unfortunately, it has become increasingly harder to differentiate between being loyal and taking unlimited, unnecessary pain.  Loyalty is a fascinating, profound concept that goes way beyond trust. But have you ever wondered, "Am I loyal to a fault in my relationships?" Before you can be firmly respectful towards others, you have to respect yourself. People believe that being loyal applies to other people or never being unfaithful to your partner. It means so much more than that - it means being true to yourself, a team player, being there in the best way you can and standing by your love. And never take advantage of the relationship.  Read the last paragraph, never taking advantage of the relationship! It goes both ways in all relationships at work, fr...

📸the.photographers.official  Love is a beautiful thing. Is it a state of being or a feeling? When people say they have fallen out of love, does it mean it fades away? Or maybe it's a state of being that stays inside of us, that needs to be fed, nurtured and realized it lives within us? Excuse me and my crazy thoughts, it's a mixture of insomnia and other times I swear it feels like I've been stung by a tsetse fly which makes me drowsy and my bed is my escape, for hours a temporary relief. So when you say "I love you" to your partner, friend or family what does it entail. I've seen videos that align love with words like sacrifice, compassion, respect, patience, kind, selfless etc. You know the rest. Then I thought maybe it's something that's a work in progress and it takes you and me to cultivate it. Teamwork makes the dream work! And for sure after labouring it bears good harvest, so love is fruits of your labour. It's not all rose...

📸the.photographers.official  I’m a girl who has always been one of the guys, but also very much a girl; I don't really blend perfectly into either sides. Sounds familiar? Welcome to the club. I remember growing up, I would pick soccer or wrestling over playing with dolls. Hanging with the guys over girls. I still choose sweat pants and t-shirts over dresses. It’s apparently thought as unladylike in most parts of the world or rather a glorified brainwash to instil gender roles. After a couple of family interventions, a wardrobe revamp and shipping off to college I slowly embraced it. Because unfortunately the, ‘She will grow out of it’ seemed like it was never going to happen. The good thing about having guy friends is there are a bunch of perks, free 24/7 bodyguards on duty, a glimpse into the not so complicated mind of guys and less drama etc. However, too much of something can take a toll on how you look at things. ‘She is such a guy’ I have heard it a couple of time...

📸Tumblr I could say getting in a relationship is easy and staying in one requires attention and effort. But we know how it is now if you’re really looking to date, like date date, not just for fun it is as hard as it is to keep one. We talked about educating yourself about your partner’s mental health , being there for your partner in the way they need and lastly we're talking about how to be intentional in your relationship with yourself and the people around you? I saved it for the last and in a minute you’ll know why. 'Intentionality means paying attention: it means doing things on purpose – not passively, not reflexively, not because we have to. Doing something to get as much out of it as possible, whatever that happens to mean in context.' With self, it means ensuring you’re taking care of both your mental and physical health in the sense that you’re in-taking what your body, mind and soul needs, you’re enjoying your company and you're self-aware. Not...

📸prettisusu It’s been a minute, last time we discussed about how it’s important to know where your partner stands in terms of them being aware of their mental stability. I reckon it’s a must, it saves a lot of surprises and frustrations because you know who you dealing with. If you haven’t read the article click here , so we are on the same page. I have in a fair share of relationships and it has been a hard journey of knowing how to show up for my partner/friends/family in ways they need me to vs ways I’m comfortable with. It was so easy for me to commit to a routine that was came easy to me like responding fast or make them laugh but I realized sometimes a person just wants you to listen or give them full attention, to feel your presence with no distractions. Hence, this article, please show up for people in your life in ways they need. So what am I saying? Let me explain. Just show up and pay attention to what your partner actually needs. Don’t assume, don’t generalize we are all u...

Living alone has it’s ups and downs, at first living alone, is exhilarating. It means doing whatever you want and whenever you want. I stayed up binge-watching series, worked on my blogs with no interruptions. It was a fun and freeing experience until the freedom to go outside and go wherever I wanted to be was taken away. Coronavirus meant for the foreseeable future, I will be spending a lot more time at home or rather on the lookout and be more cautious. After a few weeks, though, I noticed my mood change.   I missed having people around. Call me extra, needy or whatever! There is nothing more depressing than waking up to the same scenery, probably do the same routine, stare at the wall and realize you are only 2 hours into the new day. Living alone can be lonely! I was reading this article by Gary Kennedy on The Doctor’s Table blog, where he said the simple reality from birth to old age is that we need one another to regulate not only our emotions but bodies as well. St...

I have heard this more than some of  your favourites' music. My bad, but focus that’s beside the point.   It's true you can never be everyone’s cup of coffee, neither do some jokes. “My partner doesn’t know how to play.” Have you ever asked yourself that maybe you don’t have the same sense of humour? Interesting now? Let me explain. Teasing in itself is not always negative, come one it's a potent form of flirtation and seduction until you mess it up. It lies between intent and impact!  Almost everyone has a sense of humour, you just have to flip the right comedy. We all say he/she must be able to make me laugh. It’s necessary, with life choking us out, a good laugh is a need. In the previous article, we talked about the importance of knowing your partner’s mental health, well , sense of humour comes with the package. You know the limits of your jokes, basically establish a shared sense of humour without hurting your partner’s feelings. How to still be a joker wi...

Hello loves it's Mental Health Awareness Week! We are going to be exploring relationships and mental health. In our minds, we always have this ideal partner in our head. As I’m blossoming into the person I want to be, I’ve come to appreciate how important it is or I rather should I say necessary to know and truly understand your potential partner’s mental health. If you’re informed you know what you are getting into. One of the reasons why we have premature and feel disconnected is because we rush into things and hide understatements like, “She/He became a totally different person, needy or they’re always moody” or anything in between. Maybe you just didn’t give yourself time to know their mental health situation for you to understand. I came across a tweet saying, “It’s important to know your partner’s home situation.” It hit home and it got me thinking, how many people really invest in getting informed about their partner’s mental health. Fast forward >>> A...