IN HER THOUGHTS

I never thought it could be me; My heart dropped, I couldn't breath Everything froze, I could hear voices from a distance I fell down five feet where only my thoughts -re grets and shame haunted me more than the thought it was me I promised myself as a little girl, grow up and always take care of yourself Was so blameless, it seemed attainable for a girl that was driven by goals Or was it stubbornness that I had to be better Abounded at 2, I promised myself I will never need my oppressors That I will never confirm their vile thoughts against me That I had the willpower to write my own story Now years later all I have is tears of regret, replaying scenarios of how I could have done it better. The next thing I remember  I was gasping for air as if my life depended on it My sheets drenched in a pool of sweat, my crooked lips parted with a shout for help That's when I realised it was only a dream I promised myself this particular dream I will never make it come to true.

📸the.photographers.official Smothered in the cocoon of ignorance “Sssh…close your eyes listen to my voice”, Ignorance told her… She felt his panting breath on her lips; His calloused palm tenderly caressed; Over her voluptuous body. Rectitude ebbed as lust annexed; Thoughts never crawled to the section of  her mind you dwelled; Sexual desires at that moment reigned supreme; Being in his arms brought her comfort and ease. Body to body in abys of desire; Locked in his soul, nothing felt better; Two souls intertwined; His passion in her open starving bowels; Erratic heartbeats skipping, no pause; Desires of my silken treasure had been fed. Through the haze of pleasure – guilt glanced; Lost in the fog of doubt and regret; Self-inflicted, she felt twisted; What have I done!?

I never promised you perfect; I'm flawed, I sometimes snort when I laugh; I sometimes can't pronounce some words & other words I don't even try at all; I'm a burning furnace, the smallest things make me erupt; I get annoyed quickly, I lose interest slowly. Stretch marks are embodied paintings plastered on my body, with cellulite to complement the defined lines; I get scared of what tommorow holds, anxious for nothing and doubt myself all the time; So when I ask how my dress is or do you like this color remember this... I never promised perfect. I caress my chin as if I've a beard when I'm lost in my thoughts; Don't be weirded out or feel intimidated when stare you straight into your eyes; I'm only trying to get know your soul; I can be a whole lot, competitive and too focused; But in a split second when the tide of doubt hits I can be lazy and lack substance; Not all my decisions are well thought out, It is just this imperfect soul ta...

📸Lighthorse Photography  I always felt robbed of my voice growing up. By myself and circumstances surrounding me. It's been a journey, and it's my map of becoming HER! Embracing our voice is trendy right now, OWN IT they say, but also that we don't know exactly how to do to. What do I mean? It took me my whole childhood and the most part of my adulthood trying to retain positivity, self-love and mental growth. And it's still a work in progress. If you been with me through my blogging journey every article has a piece of me. Basically, if you really want to know what I'm really about, read my blogs. Munashe Irene Chakaonda is the name, I'm the HER, in In Her Thoughts. Writing has been part of me, or I could say it was easier to put everything on paper than speak up. Speaking up meant prolonged small talks. I'm an introvert to some, extrovert to my circle and on paper, but, I can safely say I'm an ambivert. My passion traceback to my childhood, where I li...

Going into the working environment is exciting and intriguing. The first time I was initiated into the club I had beaming hopes of how I was going to conquer the world. In my mind I thought what could really go wrong, it is just waking up and working right? But a thrilling horror awaited me, I realized that passing school, landing a job and being punctual to work was not going to cut it for me to last a day. Just like driving a car, the most dangerous thing to look out for is other drivers surrounding you. Meaning no matter how good of a driver you are, if you don't look out for those around you, you are good as dead. The same applies to the corporate world, you have to face whatever that is thrown at you. From different toxic characters or workmates, being taken advantage of, own self-destruction or other unexpected challenges are thrown at you daily. Well, I have had my fair share and it's highly likely I will keep on having fist wars until I'm five foot under. A...

The art of listening is yet to be mastered by many people. We walk with placards on our heads that literally say, 'hear me, but I really don't care what you have to say'. Many leaders, individuals and even our bosses lack that. The moment they get into a room it is all about what they expect and usually, everything is already laid out. But then again, how do you expect an open conversation when there are already strict guidelines on what to talk about?  There is a huge difference between giving direction and taking over the whole narrative. Sometimes approaches prove having a position doesn't make someone a leader . The moment you state out ' what is ' and 'what is not' you have already taken the power out of their tongue and replaced it with ' Can this interrogation be over already '. Oh well, that's wrong, it should be a conversation, an exchange, not completely one-sided. Once one person dominates, it's no longer one and y...

Often times than most, we seek easy gratification to our untiring hunger. Simple and clear 1 2 3 instructions, still some find it hard to just sit down, read, process and then act. Because of our need to fast track things we skip the important insights in the rush to get it over with. There is a difference between getting over with something and a great finish. It doesn't make sense to rush things through and do substandard work all in the name of wanting to be done with it. The difference is in the execution, it is key! Whether it's laziness or it's just not caring enough to do work thoroughly, only you would know. I'm in this employment group, many or at least a considerable amount of job opportunities pour in. That's a good thing. We are flourishing.  Whoop whoop! But, yes there is but, it troubles me how come there are still many people who join the group. One day it dawned me. As usual, people forwarded new opportunities, and people feast with a hop...

There is one thing I fear, not seeing things for what they are. I would rather see things plainly, picture souls rather than clothes. Somethings look better in black & white. Wait... No! Everything looks good in black & white. Black and white shapes truth, like words, shape characters. It paints dreams and real truth. Seeds of what is & what isn't. Everything balanced. Same color. Same tone. Where hate and racism are born blind. Arrogance for the color of the skin is silenced. Racism, Gender-based violence... has no place in black & white. Picture in black and white, all distractions are removed. It is a big contrast. Like how is it just dark. And then extreme light. There's no in-between. A mix of purity, integrity, and honor. Salt and pepper of colors it balances the taste.

Please stop robbing yourself from what you know! I freeze I tremble  I blackout Expectation vs reality I see myself acing it but reality slaps the daydream off my face "I would love to travel the world but I really don't know." "I don't like it when you undermine my opinions and contributions but well I don't know hey." "I really like this guy, the only problem he is inconsistent. I don't know, I guess will see how it goes." Statements or compromised situations we subject our selves to. It's so funny how a few words can change our perception. It is true what they say: it's not about how you start but how you finish . More often than the usual, many ends a sentence with a few consonants keys, a soothing beat to make our mistakes enjoyable. We have know judgment so well we deprive ourselves of expressing fully. Ending with an 'I don't know' or 'I guess' waters down the pos...