IN HER THOUGHTS

📸 Marie-Michele Bouchard   Our little conversations always carry the weight I wish the eyes would acknowledge. We keep muttering and playing with our words: you are enough but, we can not seem to convince the mind. We grew up a chubby baby for most of our life, sly comments here and there, but that is what was familiar and defined us. As we blossomed, our love grew. The height balanced out weight, whilst the weight balanced out the boobs. We were picture perfect. A sudden extreme change in our relationship came with an untimely illness that complicated our relationship. I will not deny it. I had and still have difficulties paying attention. It was a stranger, and Mama taught me never to talk to strangers. It was new territory. I felt lost. People always whispered I should lose weight but what "should" have been a dream turned my life into a nightmare. Even after preparing, many people would still be surprised when the changes crop up. It was my reality. The changes in our bo...

📸 Feeh Costa Self-care has become trendy. The hype around it has changed the meaning and true intent of the term. Some top executives or marketing gurus see it as a chance to sell. The idea of self-awareness is being wrapped with so many attractive words to sell products in the wellness world. Self-care is not a magic bullet to solve all of your problems. I am all for looking after ourselves, but the problem is we get entitled to take more time out than we should. The danger we forget we exist in a world that we can never control. "Modern self-care is often touted as pampering yourself to escape the chaos of everyday life. Like I did, many people who feel anxious or become anxious due to everyday life look into self-care ideas as an escape from how they currently feel." Yes, it might help, but it is a temporary fix. People self-care through take-away, secluding themselves (like the world will disappear), or taking a walk. All these ideas will make you feel temporarily please...

New week mercies! Welcome to the second week of the Afrobloggers winter writing challenge. This week we are in an advocacy mood, and it’s so hard to choose just one issue. Many things are happening in Africa, the Twitter ban in Nigeria #KeepItOn, Covid-19 pandemic is raging, economic downturns and so much more. If we were to keep count of the number of things going wrong, it would blow out the little light that is left burning in African child’s eyes. Mental health is the constant across the board and m ost of the time, we train ourselves to adjust. In the Zimbabwean Shona language, we have the phrase, “Tichajaira nekufamba kwenguva,” meaning “We will adjust with time.” However, paying little or no attention to the effect it has on our mental health. The African child is emotionally exhausted, drained out from life and all other things imposed on us. Anxiety and depression are out to play, and we have all become doctors, self-diagnosing and signing prescriptions of self-pity and self-a...

     📸the.photographers.official I have been binge-watching “the Bold Type” a series based on three best friends who work together. They knew each other’s hopes, dreams and support each other through personal and professional lives. It is really dreamy and I have been glued on it since one of my friends recommended it! It really nudged me to introspect on my year and how unfortunate that’s just TV, most real-life work environments are far from a perfect picture of a movie script. Sure, we may get along with our co-workers or bosses. It’s easy to get into the “we are a one big family mentality” And sing Kumbaya! But always every family has a one or a few bad apples that spoils everyone! We are all competitive or groomed to believe the next person is a threat. It’s naïve to pretend that’s not true.  Being part of something is tempting, we spend most of our time at work anyway. Being happy and creating a conducive environment makes a difference in everyone’s overa...

📸photographers.official Flow like a river my thoughts, One, two, and three somehow I can’t get to four, I can’t think straight, with this black shadow hovering, I always go back to what if I just disappear, Maybe it will make some people live with a smile, Finally, their burden is gone, bye they wave rigorously, At the back of their mind anxiety creeps to celebrate victory, I’m gone, the useless, no ambition, inconsiderate imbecile. They would order a feast, at that favourite joint of theirs, Such a lively place and full life,  A meeting place without discrimination, The Cîroc type of rich, cider gang and brandy boys, No one cared, it was all about food, music and good vibes, It was at this time I felt alive, a day off from my dead, soulless self, I was no longer moody, careless and inconsiderate in their eyes, I few vhoshos and rhumba dance to their entertainment, Somehow the complaints faded, I lived in such moments, A bottle of Jameson ...

📸photographers.official For some, being African almost means being constantly against all things that seem westernised. In Africa there are stuff that are referred to as “ white people ’ s things” and mental health is included. This really shows we need a transformation of the mind on mental health across the continent.   I grew up knowing that most people with mental illness were considered bewitched (yeaaah,  that voodoo stuff, if you wrong your neighbor they make you go crazy kinda stuff). Also, I learnt at a very young age that being mentally distressed is a weakness. In primary school, kids diss each other to test each other ’ s mental endurance. Those who break down easily are made fun of, with very little knowledge of the effect it has on them. Personally, I always underestimated the harm in jesting at another person ’ s expense. But I digress. We all suffer mental distress, but I have come to learn that those who get the worst of it, we are the one's who aren ’ t ...

@Miss_Thandie Well, young people coming from varsity believe that working or should I say being employed translates to a person having it all and it's all glitz and glam but for most people, it's HELL, LOL. Problem is we see people when they have made it and we envy the success but shan the hard work behind every success. Yes, being employed is one of the nicest and greatest achievements one person could ever ask for, or should I explicitly say from this part of the world. But you know what going to work takes time off the taking care of ourself tab. H ave you ever had a bad day in your life at work, you literally feel like you're suffocating? Well, let me take you through my whole experience of working and trying to keep sane. Being employed for the first time in life brings all sorts of blossoms in life and I really thought that when I get a job everything will fall into place. However, it's a different story I guess I was wrong.  The joy of having a payslip gave me...

📸the.photographers.official For me, work has become a major part of my life. I spent more time working than I actually do on myself. Basically, it's what pays the bill so I gotta put more energy where the money is. I've come to see being paid, having a fulfilling job and being mentally well is a scam. You can never have it all. If you do, give yourself a tap on the back. The grim reality is you've to forgo one or the other. Well, in my experience to say the least. Take a deep breath and read that again. It's hitting home right? That's me right now, taking a trip down my past and present experiences and seeing it's either I had none of the those at some point, maybe one along the way and now I've totally neglected my self wellness and awareness. The question if you can't make it to your own to-do list/bucket list is it even worth it? Is it good for you? Life, in general, gets on top us now and again. Sometimes work-related. Sometimes it's human rela...