IN HER THOUGHTS

📸 Feeh Costa Self-care has become trendy. The hype around it has changed the meaning and true intent of the term. Some top executives or marketing gurus see it as a chance to sell. The idea of self-awareness is being wrapped with so many attractive words to sell products in the wellness world. Self-care is not a magic bullet to solve all of your problems. I am all for looking after ourselves, but the problem is we get entitled to take more time out than we should. The danger we forget we exist in a world that we can never control. "Modern self-care is often touted as pampering yourself to escape the chaos of everyday life. Like I did, many people who feel anxious or become anxious due to everyday life look into self-care ideas as an escape from how they currently feel." Yes, it might help, but it is a temporary fix. People self-care through take-away, secluding themselves (like the world will disappear), or taking a walk. All these ideas will make you feel temporarily please...

Julian Myles Loyalty is one of the characteristics that tops everyone's list for someone to have within a relationship. It is an act of freedom where you choose who and what to give your commitment, respect, and affection. Unfortunately, it has become increasingly harder to differentiate between being loyal and taking unlimited, unnecessary pain.  Loyalty is a fascinating, profound concept that goes way beyond trust. But have you ever wondered, "Am I loyal to a fault in my relationships?" Before you can be firmly respectful towards others, you have to respect yourself. People believe that being loyal applies to other people or never being unfaithful to your partner. It means so much more than that - it means being true to yourself, a team player, being there in the best way you can and standing by your love. And never take advantage of the relationship.  Read the last paragraph, never taking advantage of the relationship! It goes both ways in all relationships at work, fr...

     📸the.photographers.official I have been binge-watching “the Bold Type” a series based on three best friends who work together. They knew each other’s hopes, dreams and support each other through personal and professional lives. It is really dreamy and I have been glued on it since one of my friends recommended it! It really nudged me to introspect on my year and how unfortunate that’s just TV, most real-life work environments are far from a perfect picture of a movie script. Sure, we may get along with our co-workers or bosses. It’s easy to get into the “we are a one big family mentality” And sing Kumbaya! But always every family has a one or a few bad apples that spoils everyone! We are all competitive or groomed to believe the next person is a threat. It’s naïve to pretend that’s not true.  Being part of something is tempting, we spend most of our time at work anyway. Being happy and creating a conducive environment makes a difference in everyone’s overa...

📸 Joecalih If you had asked the teenage me if I would ever walk away if there’s the slightest chance of failure and rejection in everything. I would have said a Hell No , I wouldn’t even try to make sense of it but do my best. I always lived on a philosophy of NEVER GIVE UP, PLAY YOUR PART AND GIVE YOUR BEST WHILST AT IT. Not bad right? But I didn’t lay out a mind map on the pros and cons, most importantly when is the right time to walk away and go invest somewhere else? Well, a few heartbreaks, failed projects and waste of my time later. It is good to know when to pack your bags and walk! If walls could talk, I wonder how they would respond to me when I subconsciously respond out loud to texts. I bet they've heard most people’s honest intentions, thoughts and responses before they’re watered down by ‘ haha's ’ and emojis. As if it was a sign I came across a tweet which read, “My toxic trait is feeling unwanted and removing myself first so I never feel rejected...

📸photographers_worldwide I lay here deep in my thoughts, one thought clings at the edge of my mind and I just can't seem to shush it away; Delve in deeper it called, it seemed too vivid as I stepped in what seemed like a brain bingo game; The winning word was DEJAVU , I shouted with much enthusiasm BINGO; Now I had won, it was time to dissect and explore; Suddenly it fed into a monologue... Left Brain: It's crazy how we are unique in our similarity. Some are poor, some are rich. Right Brain: Some are realist, some are creative. Both: Surrounded by things that make us better and things that make us hurt. A moment of bliss when all come to sync  (fading voice) A rare moment we yearn...  Heart and head, logic and emotions, love and hate. You can't control how people receive your energy. Just because you're breaking your back, cracking your head or pouring your heart; you can't control how people receive your energy. Of course, you will ...

How does time move so fast? It's day 20 already, another reminder that time waits for no man. A reminder that it's not about how much time you have but what you do with it?  About life changing event, and it was hard playing back the last 24 years soon to be 25. I thought of my first steps which I barely remember, first day at school, University where I tasted my first freedom, weddings, friendships and relationships. But they didn't quite hit the spot. What's worth achievements when you aren't good with self? Everything didn't matter, I was at war with myself. My father's death left with abandonment issues, his relatives disappearing as soon he was 10 feet under made it worse. A few dosage of failed relationships and life disappointments roared louder than my achievements.  My life changing event huh? It was a moment when I was the edge of life and death. Not literallly, calm down, inner thoughts and toxicity. I'm a thinker, not a sharer but words expla...

Living alone has it’s ups and downs, at first living alone, is exhilarating. It means doing whatever you want and whenever you want. I stayed up binge-watching series, worked on my blogs with no interruptions. It was a fun and freeing experience until the freedom to go outside and go wherever I wanted to be was taken away. Coronavirus meant for the foreseeable future, I will be spending a lot more time at home or rather on the lookout and be more cautious. After a few weeks, though, I noticed my mood change.   I missed having people around. Call me extra, needy or whatever! There is nothing more depressing than waking up to the same scenery, probably do the same routine, stare at the wall and realize you are only 2 hours into the new day. Living alone can be lonely! I was reading this article by Gary Kennedy on The Doctor’s Table blog, where he said the simple reality from birth to old age is that we need one another to regulate not only our emotions but bodies as well. St...

I have heard this more than some of  your favourites' music. My bad, but focus that’s beside the point.   It's true you can never be everyone’s cup of coffee, neither do some jokes. “My partner doesn’t know how to play.” Have you ever asked yourself that maybe you don’t have the same sense of humour? Interesting now? Let me explain. Teasing in itself is not always negative, come one it's a potent form of flirtation and seduction until you mess it up. It lies between intent and impact!  Almost everyone has a sense of humour, you just have to flip the right comedy. We all say he/she must be able to make me laugh. It’s necessary, with life choking us out, a good laugh is a need. In the previous article, we talked about the importance of knowing your partner’s mental health, well , sense of humour comes with the package. You know the limits of your jokes, basically establish a shared sense of humour without hurting your partner’s feelings. How to still be a joker wi...

Hello loves it's Mental Health Awareness Week! We are going to be exploring relationships and mental health. In our minds, we always have this ideal partner in our head. As I’m blossoming into the person I want to be, I’ve come to appreciate how important it is or I rather should I say necessary to know and truly understand your potential partner’s mental health. If you’re informed you know what you are getting into. One of the reasons why we have premature and feel disconnected is because we rush into things and hide understatements like, “She/He became a totally different person, needy or they’re always moody” or anything in between. Maybe you just didn’t give yourself time to know their mental health situation for you to understand. I came across a tweet saying, “It’s important to know your partner’s home situation.” It hit home and it got me thinking, how many people really invest in getting informed about their partner’s mental health. Fast forward >>> A...

It’s going to sound funny but having a moment to sob around, lick your wounds and break down into ourselves is a privilege. A moment where everything just freezes, and the only motion is your emotions, feeling it through and taking a time to breathe. YES, they say “remember to take care of yourself, you can’t pour from an empty cup” but what if that moment of feeling your feelings is detrimental to your livelihood? What if taking a break isn’t a choice? Battles have to fight, and that moment of losing track can land your face on the ground when life knocks you out. I grew up and was born of a strong woman, never did I see her complain nor give up. Everyone has people you think they have all things worked out, but maybe just maybe they don’t have the privilege to crumble at the face of everything life throws at them. The one who is supposed to work hard, a generation in their fist. There’s no time to slow down or to perfectly put it there’s time to show tears or break down. ...

Time has passed swiftly as the wind on a stormy day. I used to count days, each day passing by meant one less day till all of this is all over. But 21 days passed, 14 more days were added and I slowly lost interest in the days left and transferred that energy into adapting to the new normal. I don’t remember the date nor the time but a friend's words changed my perspective “The days more or less, reality will remain the virus is here and life has to go on.” My reality is I’m working from home, I do a silent prayer every day of gratitude that I still have a job. I have to explicitly say this because today’s topic is tricky and my views might be easily misjudged. Working from home for many is the new normal. It has relished freedom and flexibility, a good improvised way to keep the ball rolling during this unprecedented quarantine. Like any other things like staying indoors and restricted movements, it takes time to get used to it. Having all aspects of life in one place, how...