Dating Someone Who Knows Your Mental Health Is Everything!

Hello loves it's Mental Health Awareness Week! We are going to be exploring relationships and mental health. In our minds, we always have this ideal partner in our head. As I’m blossoming into the person I want to be, I’ve come to appreciate how important it is or I rather should I say necessary to know and truly understand your potential partner’s mental health. If you’re informed you know what you are getting into. One of the reasons why we have premature and feel disconnected is because we rush into things and hide understatements like, “She/He became a totally different person, needy or they’re always moody” or anything in between. Maybe you just didn’t give yourself time to know their mental health situation for you to understand. I came across a tweet saying, “It’s important to know your partner’s home situation.” It hit home and it got me thinking, how many people really invest in getting informed about their partner’s mental health.

Fast forward >>> Ask the right questions! If you’ve decided to date someone, you’ve decided to stay along for the ride. Buckle your seat belt. You have a front seat to the hard days, hopeless nights and unique challenges that lie between. I don’t mean to scare you but it’s necessary. Living in a state of fear, discomfort, anxiety and complete isolation from the outside world needs a strong heart and an open mind. A feeling as though you are losing everything – you need a partner and family you lean into even harder. A safe harbour in the storm. A lighthouse beaming at the coast of a violent storm. You get the picture right! It’s important, it becomes easier to be vulnerable and help each other find a rhythm that is right for both of you. A partner and a people that help you see fear, not as a mountain blocking the sunlight but a passage to get to the other side.

To tell or not to tell?

Take it slow and establish trust. Talk about it as you would about any other get-to-know-each-other-deets. Be honest (if you are the one sharing) and Be open-minded (if you’re on the receiving end). Remember these:

• Don’t expect the person you bring into your life to fix you or solve your mental health situation. They can be supportive and helpful but you can’t rely on them to change your mood.

• Respect emotional peaks and valleys

• Be kind to yourself and the next person who is there to help.

Dating or being in relationship = vulnerability, risk of disappointment and rejection. If you now know the mental health status of your partner, what's next?

Keep an mind: Their present doesn't define them. It's just a layer to who they are, you must decide whether or not you accept and love with it.

Educate your self: Best way to deal with their bad days is to learn as much as you can about their situation. Their triggers, how they deal with it and where you can come in to help.

Be patient and understanding: Days where they seem like a different person and have handful of emotions. Be patient.

Don't compare: Don't say "so and so also went through it" or "tell a tale about a situation you had". It's never the similar and it's annoying when someone try to understand and rationalise your pain. Let them deal with it in their own way and be comfortable in their own skin. 

Ways to improve relationships and make it feel less walking on eggshells.

• Laugh together: One thing that my Momma told me is to get a man that makes you laugh. It goes both ways, laughter is contagious which helps reduce loneliness, anxiety and isolation. Go through funny tweets, TikTok videos and walk comedy together it’s a good alternative.

• Do good for others together: Volunteering has health benefits and lower rates of depression later in life. Bonus is you get to spend time with each other, give back to the community and have something to talk about later.

• Find ways to relieve stress: Practice forgiveness, open communication and highlight your partner’s positives. Hearing on a regular give reassurance and feeds the soul to be recipients of acts of love.

• Know your enemy: Set yourselves as a team dealing with it together. It’s not their fault, neither is it yours.