IN HER THOUGHTS

  To be loved and to love wholly, with no restraint nor self-deprivation. A place of saying what you mean, how you feel and how it makes you numb. We find ourselves agreeing to somethings out of pressure or rather in the name of being the bigger person. Letting go of what is constantly hurting you because of the fear of confrontation – a vicious cycle that unleashes a can of worms or Pandora's box.   That is where I draw the line, I will never be a cool girlfriend, relative or colleague either.   Been there, done that… I answered every whim, going above and beyond what I was asked for. I was a typical COOL go-to-person. The one that fed on claims of being mature. At that point what phased normal girls somehow did not strike a nerve. Or so I thought? Rather I had signed myself up to a prolonged excruciating death, leaving myself dead inside to an extent that my cup ran empty and there was not much to give anymore.   We don’t say this enough but being ...

📸the.photographers.official  I’m a girl who has always been one of the guys, but also very much a girl; I don't really blend perfectly into either sides. Sounds familiar? Welcome to the club. I remember growing up, I would pick soccer or wrestling over playing with dolls. Hanging with the guys over girls. I still choose sweat pants and t-shirts over dresses. It’s apparently thought as unladylike in most parts of the world or rather a glorified brainwash to instil gender roles. After a couple of family interventions, a wardrobe revamp and shipping off to college I slowly embraced it. Because unfortunately the, ‘She will grow out of it’ seemed like it was never going to happen. The good thing about having guy friends is there are a bunch of perks, free 24/7 bodyguards on duty, a glimpse into the not so complicated mind of guys and less drama etc. However, too much of something can take a toll on how you look at things. ‘She is such a guy’ I have heard it a couple of time...

📸the.photographers.official When I think of sunset and sunrise, the word “begin” comes to my mind. They allow everyone get in touch with themselves, night owl or early riser, the moment where the sun meets the horizon signifies a beginning: for a new day, new ideas, new beginnings, new perspective or put anything that pops up when you think of sunset or sunrise. Some days I’m an early riser, the cool breeze whispers positivity into my ears and the glow of the sun defines my melanin and the lines on my cheekbones.  But there’re days, I dwell on situations for reflections filled with questions. What lessons should I walk away with, for future’s sake I would tell myself? If I’m being honest I’m more active during the night by choice and during the day by design. Sunrise or Sunset? What would you choose? Honestly, it’s a hard choice. Yes? No? Probably I’m a sucker for nature, Or what they signify in their depths But they’re both a beginning for me ...

Being an African says something about being black and proud, that black excellence vibe! Pride comes with success and the ability to let your little light shine. It hits me differently to realize that most of the flags in Africa are Colorful. I for one feel like there is a reason why there are many colours on the flags which is it symbolizes the endless opportunities in Africa for people to become great in different ways but still coming back together as one and represent Africa. We do not need to limit ourselves when it comes to entrepreneurship, think ahead of time and generate visions that will lift up your name even when you are long gone. The good thing about entrepreneurship is that there is no restriction in the size of your startup. What is needed as the foundation is the solid vision then u start on a small capital keeping the eye on the goal? Jeff Bezos once said during his high school days, “the earth is finite and if the world economy and population are to continue expandi...

Is it true that “sexual freedom for women threatens the foundations of civilization?” Why is it common to construct men as promiscuous by nature and label women as a prostitute when they do the same?  Society understands when men engage in polygamy and extra-marital relationships as evident in sayings varume imbwa or amadoda izinja (‘men are dogs’) in Shona and Ndebele respectively. Women are expected to exercise sexual restraint or suppress their feelings yet they have desires that are, at times, uncontrollable too.  Virtue and sexual honesty as exemplified in motherhood and wifehood are viewed as admirable feminine qualities (Spronk 2005) yet admirable husbands may have multiple wives or extramarital relations. Patriarchy is the malefactor perpetrating this set up as modus operandi.  There is dire need to deconstruct patriarchal fallacies about sexuality in Zimbabwe and raise questions about the future. Should we continuously be defined and restricted...

It’s going to sound funny but having a moment to sob around, lick your wounds and break down into ourselves is a privilege. A moment where everything just freezes, and the only motion is your emotions, feeling it through and taking a time to breathe. YES, they say “remember to take care of yourself, you can’t pour from an empty cup” but what if that moment of feeling your feelings is detrimental to your livelihood? What if taking a break isn’t a choice? Battles have to fight, and that moment of losing track can land your face on the ground when life knocks you out. I grew up and was born of a strong woman, never did I see her complain nor give up. Everyone has people you think they have all things worked out, but maybe just maybe they don’t have the privilege to crumble at the face of everything life throws at them. The one who is supposed to work hard, a generation in their fist. There’s no time to slow down or to perfectly put it there’s time to show tears or break down. ...

Time has passed swiftly as the wind on a stormy day. I used to count days, each day passing by meant one less day till all of this is all over. But 21 days passed, 14 more days were added and I slowly lost interest in the days left and transferred that energy into adapting to the new normal. I don’t remember the date nor the time but a friend's words changed my perspective “The days more or less, reality will remain the virus is here and life has to go on.” My reality is I’m working from home, I do a silent prayer every day of gratitude that I still have a job. I have to explicitly say this because today’s topic is tricky and my views might be easily misjudged. Working from home for many is the new normal. It has relished freedom and flexibility, a good improvised way to keep the ball rolling during this unprecedented quarantine. Like any other things like staying indoors and restricted movements, it takes time to get used to it. Having all aspects of life in one place, how...

It’s been hard quarantining but one or two podcasts a day keeps the ball rolling! It’s true what you spend more time with shapes you. Exhibit one, this article. Hang around a little bit more and you will agree or not but it has to be said either way. Have you ever been so comfortable in a situation, workplace, relationship, or in life generally, that it quickly turns from honoring that blessing to full blown entitlement? Yes! Today I’m coming to your house. Somehow, we lose the spirit we had at the beginning, where we felt grateful for the job, honored to have friends who listen, or when you found love. And we end up having an insatiable hunger, an ‘I should have’ mentality which is often linked with little to no commitment at all. Why do I say so? Commitment shows in what you do (your actions). For instance, when the #Lockdown started I would wake up early, get my chores down, exercise, bath, and get on with work in time. But two weeks in, it went from waking up early to I wi...

A place we call home, a place one misses and appreciates. At times a place that can kill a dream and hope. This is a place where it all happens, young adults breed in their comfort zones and live on “existing to survive” mantra.  The young and the restless calls it G hetto and it's one of the places where all levels of confidence reside because everyone claims to be a Wise . The general belief is people from the streets live on an everyday reality  'to see things getting worse for many and better for a few. ' Choices and the company you keep determine your tomorrow and many always tell a tale of regret wishing if they could have done things differently. The spirit of stagnation seeps through the dusty streets. A kid with a dream today but life hardships and responsibilities can easily knock his off course. For those who blame life for being unfair, terrorize the drains and get high on alcohol and drugs to drown their sorrows away. Standard color for lads’ lips is b...

According to the World Health Organisation, Coronavirus (COVID-19) is an infectious disease caused by a newly discovered Coronavirus. It spreads primarily through droplets of saliva or discharge from the nose when an infected person coughs or sneezes, so it's important that you also practice respiratory etiquette (for example, by coughing into a flexed elbow). Approximately 1.3 million lives were affected and 70000 died from coronavirus. Nothing on earth is moving or trending except the virus. One of its kind, deadly and proving difficult to be unstoppable.  The continuation of the COVID-19 is exerting economic and market pressures globally, and the sources of the economic pressures including currency depreciation, liquidity tightening and also volatile stock markets amongst others. Taking a look at the Zimbabwean situation the informal sector is the one that’s most people are employed in and with the lockdown, it means that all the people and clients living on hand to mo...

Easy come, easy go is a cliché that I grew up more familiar with. I wasn’t in a position to understand what that phrase meant in the real world until experience taught me the hard way and left me with a testimony. It’s funny how quick we lose some of the things we get so easily in life. I took some time to think about what could possibly be the password to success and did my research on some of the multi-millionaires aroud the world and it turned out that hard work and resilience were written all over their faces.  I reflected on how we get to complain when life demands us to work hard, we complain too much forgetting that attitude at the beginning has a positive effect on the results at the end. We fancy aptitude the most but it is a fact that attitude surpasses aptitude. This brought me to a better understanding that hard times are significant in our lives, and it is quite critical for one to determine the most appropriate way to address the time and that should never be...

We're currently living through what seems to feel like the "new normal" and uncertainty is all around us. It’s a crippling feeling not to have some control over what’s happening around you. With this outrageous pandemic upon us, the least you would want is SECURITY but life novels a different story. Not knowing what to do, not knowing what’s going to happen, not knowing how you going to pay rent, not knowing if you are going to have a job when this blows over, not knowing what people are thinking, planning or feeling; these situations are ripe to breed anxiety. Because it’s often, not-knowing that’s the worst. Crowded with fear and worry, anxiety causes our body to over-respond with defense mechanisms as the body feels like it’s under threat.   Anxiety is explained as an intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations. Amidst everything that’s going on, it’s very easy to be overwhelmed with anxiety. From not knowing what outcome the...

We spend most of our time working to keep food on the table, learning new skills or on our phones. Now amidst of this world chaos and pandemic we would think we are more connected than ever before, yet we feel more isolated. We live under the same roof and even reconnect with old friends, family members or colleagues, yet we feel like we have fewer intimate connections that generations before us. Surrounded but alone! If Corona has taught us anything, it’s that we have all been pushed to realize that we are surrounded by familiar strangers. Strangers who carry the same last name as ours but we don’t have any valuable connection with them. We are just lonely souls drifting within the same four walls. You can hear them breathing slowly, frantic typing on mobile phones, flash capture of selfies and music blasting but yet you can't feel their presence. Literally we are just roommates cohabitating in the same house. Why do we feel alone? You crave closeness I hope...

When the waves of social injustice hit, the weak feel the force more. An unstable home ,the kids suffer, an argument in a house, the kids suffer and deadbeat fathers coming and going as they Please, the kids feel the consequences. Divorce, depression, instability and premature decisions. All seeds of bad parenting it is the kids the feel the hear. In light of unprecedented Covid-19 all issues brushed aside reckon to be addressed.  And I say, Let's normalize apologizing to our Kids! I have come to a conclusion that 21st century parenting is more or less history repeating itself. We just replaying what we know best or rather what we were exposed to. Progress communication! What is that? It's foreign! We are more of an iron fist parenting, 'It's my way or no way' . Kids are suffering injustices, guilt aches on your chest but your mouth tells a different story. Sorry is a word that has taken the last character on our vocabulary. Even when we are wrong we choose...

The ultimate excuse has always been  I don't have time . Whether it's time to spend with your loved ones, time to pursue your dreams, time to process things and put them into perspective. Time to explore and take risks. Well! You have plenty of time now! Depressing it may seem but this #21DaysLockDown is a blessing in disguise. That's depending on how you use it! Here are some toxic traits and situationships you should work yourself out of in the next 21 days: 'Secure the bag' Secure means fixed or fastened so as not to give away, become loose, or be lost. The whole point of having money to use, give and invest, right? Life is too short and money ain't gonna buy you more time. You are the bag you should invest in your talents,  learn new skills, ask for advice and find a mentor. That way you are equipped to have your money work for you than secure the little you have. Cultivate the zeal to grow and break out of your comfort zones. Stop looking f...

It’s like a beautiful glare each time we cast our eyes their way, something to live for, something to appreciate. What on earth could be more delicate, special and precious than a gem? Undermined but yet full of potential. We appreciate the direction we are taking, the element of treating women as second citizens. It's fading away like the morning mist which diffuses into thinner air as the day lapses.  Now everything is put at par and much recognition is put to honor the good cause of equality. What else could we have asked for, all that they bring is joy and serenity? They have the power to incubate naturally and give life. So my oration then defines a woman as an epitome of care and love, soft and vulnerable but strong and vibrant. Today I would love to take this opportunity to appreciate the female version of humankind for they are the source of pride in all our lives. If you give a woman anything raw or half-done she will definitely make something worth appreciati...

Who, when, why, what now!? (Chuckles), hold it. Have you ever discovered that if you think things through, life is a series of comprehensive questions? They either guide us somewhere or give us the power of knowledge. It takes me back two decades ago when I was born, the first thing my grandmother asked when I brought into this world was, is it a boy or a girl? Looking back, the series of questions guided my every step. I remember in kindergarten the first question the teacher asked me , “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It brought a lot of perspective to things as I gradually started to paint a portrait of how questions bring meaning to life. When human beings are at their remarkable level of sanity, before they solely make a decision there is always that inner voice with a long list of questions. The classic ones are always, the why, the when and the what? It takes the skill of understanding, planning and also a vision to be able to give reasons to support actions....