Self-Awakening Event!

In Her Thoughts: Self-Awakening Event!


How does time move so fast? It's day 20 already, another reminder that time waits for no man. A reminder that it's not about how much time you have but what you do with it? 

About life changing event, and it was hard playing back the last 24 years soon to be 25. I thought of my first steps which I barely remember, first day at school, University where I tasted my first freedom, weddings, friendships and relationships. But they didn't quite hit the spot.

What's worth achievements when you aren't good with self? Everything didn't matter, I was at war with myself. My father's death left with abandonment issues, his relatives disappearing as soon he was 10 feet under made it worse. A few dosage of failed relationships and life disappointments roared louder than my achievements. 

My life changing event huh? It was a moment when I was the edge of life and death. Not literallly, calm down, inner thoughts and toxicity. I'm a thinker, not a sharer but words explain me better. So here it goes...

I will never be like them, I will be better than they were
My bubble my sanctuary, I don’t talk I boil inside
Suppressed emotions that build up, a volcano to erupt
I swing my ungirded hips, run because I must
Through the great wide air, I run to the monster I loathe
Where do I go, darkness greets me from all sides
I’m running away from the demons that pursue me,
And the waves of the monster I’m becoming howls the skies

Breathing heavily, panting

Man of million mouthless death slowly catches up
Staring at my soul with fiery eyeballs as he rushest
Dinner was near, a few steps away
I heard his footprints, launching in pursuit leaves crusht
With all this hot pursuit, I set myself a snare
The winds of darkness arise and strike me
And I scatter like sand filled with emotions
I keep on running because that is all I know
I can’t stop, through the broad bright land

Life changing event = When I threw away the mask and wore my soul.


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