The Monsters In My Head

📸AfroBloggers 

For someone who has been floating, spread my wings and fly… The fall is hard, deep into a hole that I had last dug myself out of!

The drop down has been long coming, it feels more like a dejavu actually. Like it has happened before and I’m now just reliving the moment. I just can’t stop falling. Deeper and deeper my body is falling me, my mind is beaten down, any attempt feels unbearable. For once my body and mind agrees on something.

It feels like I’m sitting at the edge of the wall in an empty room, window shut with a chipped corner. Out of it rays of sunlight cuts the room in halves making a rainbow diamond on the floor. When it’s dark the hues of trees turn into monsters dancing at the rhythm of my pain. As if part of the natural clock, it’s scary from the inside and even scarier from the outside.

Anxiety beckons me to sit, a revival of my solitude. Even if I only rest here, a kiss of cold air from societal expectations, rejection, disappointments or any chance to feel zips my shadow up into my body. It trails me no matter how fast run, I tried flying clearly that doesn’t work either. Like the stars during day – I’m overpowered all I do is busk my pain in the rays until it's noon again.

Creative prompt courtesy of AfroBloggers.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Adulting They Call It! A Day In The Life Of An Adult...

Image
📷 Hulst Wilson It was a summer morning the smell of the fresh coffee brewing filled the air – the chill breeze and the scent of the clean-shaven glass. The shrieking clock slapped me back to reality, it was time to begin adulting. For so long I was living with my parents and feeding off them. The day has dawned for me to journey into a land of no hope – job hunting ! It had become known that jobs were for the privileged and the well-connected fellas. But this didn’t mess my mantra and optimism . What a shame everyone was caught up in the web of corruption and nepotism. Tick tock… The clock sang a song of hope. I had clothes bought specially for this day rather for the last time it came from my parents’ pension. I cleared my mind and the never-dying song of unemployment from my classmates and some from streams ahead. In my head, 8 o’clock was a date, a chance to be what I always dreamt of. I hurriedly bathed, late was never part of my vocabulary. The words of my mentor vivid
Read more

#Signs It Is Time For You To Be Courageous & Take What You Want

Image
📷 Jonathan Daniels "You can get in life what you have courage to ask for " - Oprah Winfrey When it comes to life don’t be humble and meek, take on whatever life gives you. There is a better way to take on life, that is, to be specific about what you want. As our Shona idiom goes, “Mwana asinga cheme anofira mumbereko” which simply translates to, “You only get what you have the courage to ask for.” It is the only en route to success and getting what you want. It costs zero dollars to take charge of your life, be assertive – combine your confidence with control. Trust me it is like a magnet to get attention, a step forward to getting what you want. Growing up I was a reserved and quiet person. Never asked for anything or complained. It was rooted in me and my way of life. Up until I realized that if I don’t ask for much I won’t get much. Your soul and mind will give precisely what you unconsciously tell it, nothing more or nothing less. Being a considerate soun
Read more

Framed Generation!

Image
Judge: You being charged with counts of lazyness, entitlement, changing jobs like shoes, adrenaline filled junkies and a generation of no hope. How do you plead? Plea : Thank you your Honour for this opportunity. Firstly I feel like we surrounded by a glitter border; Looks good from the outside looking in, but all it is confinement in our thinking, ideas and entire existence; Of rules and expectations passed on from generation to generation; Stick to the know, a yearn for more is rebellion; A generation framed by our forefathers; constantly paying for their sins; Where corruption, violation of freedom of speech, graduates begging by the roadside and violation of human rights have been normalised; A curse of through painful toil we eat food from it the rest of our lives. Hands to mouth, hands to mouth, a routine we've only known; They ate the sour fruits, played with fire, gorged into our trust funds only for us to be called lazy and free spirits. Millenni
Read more