IN HER THOUGHTS

When people show you who they believe them the first time. The signs are always there and we may be oblivious to see them. In life, the little things people do show more than the surface and we tend to overlook them. It is those little things that make a person. So if a person treats you some kind of way or says something that makes you question their intentions believe it the first time. Do not wait for the second, third or fourth time to make it sink in. Don’t let yourself believe it is the slip of the tongue or they said it due to pressure. The behavior that they show you, it is who they are. In most cases where we let the little things pass, they are the same things that will be problematic in the future in our relationships.   Before you act or speak make it a priority to put yourself in their shoes. There is always a nicer way to voice out your opinions without hurting people’s feelings or make them feel some time of way. In the words of Rabison Shumba, “Be watc...

Late in the summer of 1980, at around eight o’clock she received tragic news.  She trudged down the bleak white corridor which was slowly fading to a cream like color. Her mind was filled with images of her Robert. Her husband - her soul mate had passed on and left their two younglings in her care. A young and quite reserved lady sobbed in her grief. “How had this happened to me?” She asked herself. After only three years of marriage, she felt robbed. “Lord why have you forsaken me, why did you have to take him away from me.” Like a lonely star she simmered away in the depths of the universe, the voices of people around slowly faded away as she was in deep thoughts. The sounds made by mourners became a somber melody to her loss. To lose a husband, a father of her two beautiful angels was utterly devastating. In her mind, the people around could not possibly understand the depths she felt. “Be strong,” they said, and extended their condolences. No one had prepared her for this...

Communication is an important element in any kind of relationship. Most people misunderstand the difference between talking and communicating. One of the most irritating behaviors millenniums have is being poor listeners. Why are they not listening? Is it because the advice is poor, they don’t regard what you are saying or they really want their opinion to be validated? If I’m, to be honest, we listen to respond, defend or blame rather than understand.  In the words of Stephen Covey, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply" As humans, we are emotional beings and it is those emotions that affect the way we communicate which leave things unsaid and unsolved. Nobody is perfect, and this extends to our communication skills. Sometimes you will think you are a good communicator without knowing you have defensive listening skills. Take yourself back to that conversation that you had with your sibling, lover or colleague ...

Did you know the brain is the most powerful existing supercomputer ever built? So rugged and elegant yet so vulnerable. The brain can help you create multiple personalities in order to defend itself so as to maintain an equilibrium, a stable form of homeostasis. As the saying goes, “Be nice to people, you never know the battles they are fighting.” A report from Bulawayo24 has shown that 75% of Zimbabwean people have once suffered from “mental issues”. As much we might use “tough love” approach to depression and suicide cases are skyrocketing. We are a nation that always jokes around even with the serious and important matters. But can you blame us? It has become our mental defensive mechanism. Suppressed feelings, emotions, dysfunctional families and brain chemistry even failure of companies to pay out pensioners (the negative aspects of the mental psyche of an individual) have a huge impact on our daily lives. Depression is characterized by sadness, loss of interest or plea...

Where art thou sleep? Far away - beyond the reach Counting on of no avail Tick tock, tick tock Restless mind irks Soaked in deep thoughts I can’t see you, walls of unsleeping thickens Neither sign of dreams nor sleep Heavy eyelids – the struggle persists Once again you remain invincible Even night has fallen asleep Here I lie awake having a conversation  with my imaginary friend I stare into the distance Greeting restlessness and over thinking They now know me by name Rendered vulnerable I had become  With nothing but sleepless promises and pain The ceiling had become my own cinema A front row seat I had earned Lights, camera, action!!!  The night was ours

Brows knitted into a frown, a story within Lonely graves, in it - darkness dwelled Coffins of pale dead eyes telling a story A tale of a needle of dead eyes looking for a thread An ocean of secrets lies within Deeper the ocean, deeper the secrets A journey to a never-ending land Drowning inside her heart Like a wilted flower, her eyes lifeless Limp and lifeless, color sipping out To be replaced with an ashen pale of death Darkness, loneliness, and struggle devoured, As hope, feigned innocence fled Dying into herself, a voiceless object Pain exuded from her gunmetal tired eyes Tear-filled and weary Soft wisps of her grey eyes Rimmed with darkness A hollow of madness A large pool of darkness Bruised chips of emeralds searching for depths

The world has evolved, roles have changed but somehow there hasn’t been much change in women supporting each other. I’m not dismissing the efforts that have been made so far, but it is very alarming how as women we feed our egos at the expense of each other. We rather have it all than share the glory, success or even give a helping hand to other women starting their career path. It is a reality that most people avoid but it is happening. I've had a situation where a friend would rather stay quiet than share career opportunities that they come across. It was not because she didn’t have a job but the idea of me having a chance to succeed pained her. That’s when it dawned on me that as women we are our own enemy. We would rather see other women suffer rather than lend a helping hand.  I don’t know if it is a self-esteem problem or what. I know this statement will stir some hostility but it’s the plain truth - at least in my eyes. From what I have gathered, as women we are afr...