We Are Our Own Enemy

The world has evolved, roles have changed but somehow there hasn’t been much change in women supporting each other. I’m not dismissing the efforts that have been made so far, but it is very alarming how as women we feed our egos at the expense of each other. We rather have it all than share the glory, success or even give a helping hand to other women starting their career path. It is a reality that most people avoid but it is happening. I've had a situation where a friend would rather stay quiet than share career opportunities that they come across. It was not because she didn’t have a job but the idea of me having a chance to succeed pained her. That’s when it dawned on me that as women we are our own enemy. We would rather see other women suffer rather than lend a helping hand. 

I don’t know if it is a self-esteem problem or what. I know this statement will stir some hostility but it’s the plain truth - at least in my eyes. From what I have gathered, as women we are afraid to negotiate, if we are offered a job we are so quick to accept. We see it as an “Opportunity knocks once on our doorsteps” type of situation. Risks are evaded at any costs, which make us settle for what we don’t deserve. As a mechanism to protect ourselves we settle for what we get not what we are worth. This goes across the board including relationships, partnerships and businesses. Just for the sake of getting a job or a relationship we take the first thing that come our way. We are so grounded in our culture that we were made to feel inferior. We are so quick to give an extra nudge to make our potential to be recognized. 

I remember going into the corporate world for the first time, I was scared of saying no even if it wasn’t on my job description. I would do anything from coffee runs to covering for colleagues. All in the name of securing my job. It made sense until I realized that it wasn’t right and I deserved better. At work there were many opportunities to travel and attend events - my male colleagues would go without any hustles.  But I had to work harder to earn recognition or rather for my potential to be noticed. Such experiences exposed how I was so afraid to negotiate for better benefits, go for what I was worth and have a fellow woman in my profession stir me in the right direction.

But what if we stood together? Hold each other’s hand, be our own cheerers and motivators. Life will be better if we acknowledged our worth and understand that we are not competing. “Together we stand, divided we fall.”