IN HER THOUGHTS

Have you ever sat down, looked at yourself in amazement and disgust at the same time? Feeling awful about yourself and wondering how you became what you are now. When some time back, you despised your current state of mind and attitude. Then you eventually became a monster unknowingly even though you felt the change within. Looking deep into yourself and realizing all there is an abyss of void. You convince yourself to trade the abys for darkening your depression, creating a monster. Now you ask yourself “Was I meant to become a monster, or I am one?” I believe at some point I used to have human affection, emotions and feelings. Or maybe I thought I did. I think I used to love till I realized it was mediocre infatuation. Even if I loved, I am now aware that I would have passionately consumed the ones I love with hatred for I was gradually becoming a monster. I became an internal monster to myself, then an external monster to those who surround me.  “Love thy neighbour as you love t...

Everything we do or say is a statement of ourselves to the world. It is a manifestation of self. Wasting a moment is not an option or taking action without reason behind it. The attention to yourself and the detail of your surroundings should be impeccable. Do you ever observe yourself for a day and ask the tough questions. Why do you do things the way you do? Is there a logic, an order to it? If there is not, what is its purpose? Finding purpose is key to finding satisfaction and know that you are doing all that you can to get where you want to go. Everything we do is a statement. So next time, remember to make sure there is logic behind every single action. It gives everything a purpose. It is the key to finding value and satisfaction in our lives. By looking at what you do and why you do it, you become more aware of yourself. Yes, input from friends or family can be phenomenal, but often we rely too heavily on our friends or family when making decisions. Before we know it, we do n...

  sometimes  leadership hurts us serve and protect  the solemn oath,  holding the touch being the light for others, being the change unfortunately, there is no change without loss  the narrative 'if you're not hurting you are not  a leader' puts unrealistic  expectations, to sacrifice yourself, your time,   and well being for decisions to be criticised and judged,  no one likes you yet you're breaking  your back for them I used to think knowledge was power but no one told me knowledge come at a cost you have no right to cry or feel, you've to be the light even when you're  travelling in a dark tunnel,  that's the curse of power. Photo Creative Prompt.

   The struggle with anxiety can be raw, scary, and debilitating. Panic, worry, darkness closing on you and having a little voice inside your head  telling you of what could go wrong and how it is all your fault.    Anxiety is both a mental and physical state of negative expectation. Mentally it is characterized by increased arousal and apprehension tortured into distressing worry and physically by unpleasant activation of multiple body systems—all to facilitate response to an unknown danger, whether real or imagined. - Psychology Today It is an internal battle, and not everyone knows what is going on in your head. You would be thinking, can you not hear my silent screams? So loud they echo in your dreams. My experience with anxiety had a great deal to do with feelings of not being good enough or making the cut. I fear waking up and thinking of all the things that could wrong. I fear I would never be a good enough daughter, sister, friend, partner, writer, and s...

I do not know why we have this thing between us. A forbidden union, ugly & engorged. Hidden deep within Your tongue plated with silver whispers sweet things in my ear Adorn me with words & phrases that brings me comfort in my conformity. Giving my ego that deep-tissue massage entering into ecstasy of security within a group Where I trade my autonomy for company  Applaud me and give me a standing ovation Treats me like the best show he has ever seen We have been back, back, and forth, and forth He has shown me the shortcuts, a temporary happiness There is even denial that it exists But we just let it play it out The company keeps me warm But lately I have been feeling lonely  I yearn to walk the room and still be myself Be confident and relinquish fear of acceptance But I will not stop if do not as well We have to part ways, I have met adaptability I really needed somebody, and adaptability gave me a taste of my worth I have come to know I do not have to trade  mys...

We have heard we should not conform from the Old Testament right to our daily lives. But, you know when you are warned not to play with fire, the glow of the flame tempts your soul to reach out for its warmth. Most of us are guilty of flirting with conformity. For the sole reason that we are desperately lonely. Or in need of attention.  I understand you and I am not here to judge. The beauty of conforming is the  company,  you feel like you fit in. You adopt habits from your surroundings and make them your own, you create your bubble that is unfortunately headed straight for an identity crisis. Yes, I said it. Before we get carried away or become salty, let me explain or rather answer, what is conforming? Conforming involves changing your behaviours to fit in or go along with the people around you. Sounds simple that it is actually on the ground, right? Well, conforming goes down to even the little things, whatever the group you follow perceives as  normal . The...

Over the last five posts, we’ve delved into a Creatives Mental Health Series. Not the just about what they do but also their mental health story and how they take of their mental health. For those of you who enjoyed the series or didn’t get a chance to read them all, here is a short summary of each of the articles, so you can get the gist of each in one easily digestible chunk. Asher talked about losing loved ones due the nature of his work. In his interview other themes that were raised include childhood trauma, struggle of fitting in. Mufaro sheds light on the pressures of the creative industry. On top of that the lack of support can be straining on mental health wellness.  Then we had Abigirl who shared her experience in the competitive creative sector, where work is always under someone binoculars and criticism. It is so easy to carried away and have your mental health engraved in your day to day life. Like it defines you. Lauren explored how people have not yet embraced o...