Flirting With Conformity...

We have heard we should not conform from the Old Testament right to our daily lives. But, you know when you are warned not to play with fire, the glow of the flame tempts your soul to reach out for its warmth. Most of us are guilty of flirting with conformity. For the sole reason that we are desperately lonely. Or in need of attention. 

I understand you and I am not here to judge. The beauty of conforming is the company, you feel like you fit in. You adopt habits from your surroundings and make them your own, you create your bubble that is unfortunately headed straight for an identity crisis. Yes, I said it.

Before we get carried away or become salty, let me explain or rather answer, what is conforming?

Conforming involves changing your behaviours to fit in or go along with the people around you.

Sounds simple that it is actually on the ground, right? Well, conforming goes down to even the little things, whatever the group you follow perceives as normal. The tendency of conforming becomes particularly strong when we do not know how to act or in some cases where expectations are ambiguous. If you have had haunting thoughts asking yourself, “Why did I even go out today?’’ or “Why am l even here?” You are a victim or guilty of conforming.

There are sources of influence that push us to do what we normally would not do if we had a choice or position of influence. The first one is when you are in a situation but do not want people to perceive you otherwise juxtaposed with the vibe that is already in the room. For example, you are out with friends one suggests let us hit the club because you do not want to be the boring one you tag along, regardless of your reservations. This one is called normative influence.

The second one is called informational influence, pretty straight forward. It is based on how much you know. So if you are unsure of the correct response, you agree with the better informed or more knowledgeable person in the room. Many are guilty of this in meetings, there is that one person we wait for to confirm if our ideas are good enough. It potentially creates silos and hindering out of box innovations. It is very evident in today's creative scope, there is a lot of Copy and Paste culture.

Societal pressure is another influential factor, this appears on many issues, and we cannot run away from it. It is part of us, and we are active members of the community. A good example is how people alter their behaviour to fit into their expected roles, whether as a wife, husband, chief, strict boss etc.

Lastly, we are aspiring beings, one of the reasons why we invented “Role Models.” In my opinion we should drop the role and stay with the model because some of these "role models" are not playing any role in our lives but only take space on our walls or phones without bringing any tangible value. Anyway, this is called internalisation force where we change our behaviour because we want to be like another person.

Why YOU, YES YOU should stop flirting with Conformity

• It creates emotional laziness that allows you to settle in and look at life as if you had already walked half the journey. You tend to regulate your goals and aspirations.
• Lack of critical thinking as our thoughts become partial, distorted, and biased. We tend to choose the thing we are familiar with, and shun anything that make us uncomfortable.
• We lose ourselves and relinquish our autonomy. Decisions are no longer ours, other people decide for us.

When next someone says you such a FLIRT, take a minute to process it. It may not be the literal meaning you think. Let us re-evaluate ourselves, and strive not become everything we see or experience.