Mental Health Series: Abigirl In The Spotlight

You can only understand when it is you/a close person in your circle experience it. It is the smallest, well small when other people are looking in but suffocating when you are inside. The creative industry is fundamentally built around communication and free flow of ideas, mental health still seems to be something of a taboo subject. 

We are exploring how the creative workplace presents specific challenges. Keeping your sanity when your work is always under scrutiny can be hard. We have seen the cancelling culture slowly raising over the years and we are nurturing it at the expense of our mental health. One mistake and you are out! It is hard earning your crust and keeping sane in these competitive environments that can breeding ground of depression, anxiety, addiction and the like. I digress, let's meet our next guest. Please tell us who you are in just 4 sentences:

I am a brand strategist and designer. An artist at heart, who believes in creativity with purpose. I believe I was born an artist. It was always something I gravitated to even as a child. 

Please share your mental health story, how do you cope as a creative? Do you ever feel stuck being yourself when creating and trying to fit in the world? What weighs you down as a creative?

Struggling with my mental health has almost always been a part of my life, even before I was actively pursuing design and multimedia. I did not realize it at first but it became more apparent when I was a college student. When your creativity starts to exist in a system that is governed by competition, comparison and monetisation, there begins the escalation of your mental health struggles as an artist. I was learning so much in college but my creativity no longer just existed for what it was. I felt the pressure to compete with classmates, and often compared myself/work to others. When I started getting paid gigs, it was the pressure to perform and then it was the frustration of dealing with many different characters, most of who don't understand or respect the craft of designers.

In the real world, post college, it is the pressure of deadlines, the odd hours, fast paced environment, demanding clients and low pay... That can be a lot to take on. It runs deep and I am not sure anyone who is not a designer can really understand what it all feels like.

Sometimes I feel stuck when my mental health is not doing great (whether for personal or professional reasons) and that can really suck, when I have a deadline and I just can not find the right idea.

Creativity is not the same as other tasks where you have a formula that should always work well.

Sometimes your process does not work and you just need that spark to get things moving. I need inspiration, time and planning to create. And I need to believe in my idea in order to put it out to the world.

The going back and forth between myself and the client (with no real direction) in a design process is what weighs me down. It is a huge part of why I have transitioned from only being a graphic designer to being a brand strategist who offers design services. Now I am able to help my clients figure out who they are and what their goals are, so that by the time we get to design, we have direction and don't spend valuable time going back and forth designing a logo.

How do you take care of your mental health?

I try to compartmentalize my life and not mix work and my personal life. Lines and working times can really get blurred and leave you with no boundaries, no money and no social life. The most important thing I do is say no to any work or clients I do not believe in or that makes me anxious. You gotta trust your gut, experience and stop just doing anything for money. If you are a designer you almost always know when a client is wrong for you but you ignore the signs and end up in another cycle of anxiety or depression.

Has last year’s hardships changed your creatives’ relationship with their work and their sense of self?

The pandemic gave me so much time! To wallow in self pity, to have an existential crisis, to wait for the answers to come to me and then to realise that I had to act in order to see change. Sometimes our depression as creatives (this is so true for me) comes from a need to find the reason and meaning of our existence. Our brains struggle to accept the regular life of waking up and hustling to survive. 

We need purpose in order to live!

After suffering from burnout at an agency job, I quit and stayed at home for nearly 2 years trying to find myself but it only happened when I  decided to take action based on what I already knew.

When you start from where you are, everything else will fall into place as you go. You don't need to have a perfect plan or know exactly where you're going to end up.

Does daily life as a creative give you any anxiety, the tight deadlines and dealing with different characters?

Yes yes yes. 

Do you ever feel disconnected from your work?

When I am struggling with my mental health, I feel so disconnected and discouraged and I sometimes absolutely loathe my work. It is difficult to create when my mind is scrambled, so I question everything and feel like my work isn't good enough.

Do you think the odds of mental health issues are higher on creatives.

Yes Indeed, the odds are stacked against us. Some research says that creativity is fuelled from depression (some of the greatest paintings and performances to ever be seen where by artists who's minds were in turmoil the entire time they were creating). I however also believe that an artist's depression can also be the thing that stops them from creating their best work. I am the type of artist who feels things deeply and so differently than other people. I draw energy from my surroundings and experiences so easily (both negative and positive) and so I need to regulate often to be able to create.