Mental Health Series: Lauren In The Spotlight

Hey! Perfection Is not possible. 

This sounds ridiculous when are a creative world  and anything you make or create opens up to other people in a way that makes you vulnerable. Everything we make feels like an extension of ourselves. Our way of telling the world this is who I am. And like any rejection and criticism might come off very personal. This can easily create doubt or creative imposter syndrome "when you worry if you actually have real talent and feel like you do not belong in the creative community."

Welcome back to the Mental health series where we converse with different artists, explore their stance on mental health and how they cope in the industry that reeks of criticism. Meet our next guest:

I’m Lauren,  I’m 27 years old. I’m a daughter and a sister. I’m the middle child in a family of 3 girls and live in with my single mom and young sis. I hold a BSc Honours Degree in Creative Art and Design. I’m a full time Graphic Designer and currently employed as an inhouse designer for a local NGO. I do other gigs part-time such as branding and social media marketing. I started off Graphic Design in 2015 as a student and officially went full-time in 2017 after graduating from college. Apart from Graphic Design I’m into home décor and interior design. I love nature and aesthetics, hence, I derive my inspiration in all the work I do from there.

How do you describe your craft as part of you, you born with it or it your escape?

I could say I was born with it and is now a part of me. I started off as an artist from a very young age. In primary school I always used to draw portraits of celebrities and clothing designs from magazines. This made my teacher recognize my artistic talent and she helped me nurture it by making me draw wall charts for the class. Fast forward to University level I deliberately chose to enrol into a Creative Art and Design degree as it was broad compared to a degree in Fine Art.

Please share your mental health story, how do you cope as a creative? Do you ever feel stuck being yourself when creating and trying to fit in the world? What weighs you down as a creative?

As a creative I’ve struggled mostly with anxiety which then leads to depressing and stressful phases. Anxiety seems to be inevitable when you’re an introvert and yet you have to deal with people on a daily basis. Last year (2020) most of my anxiety came from pressure from work and having to report to a supervisor and a line manager. And having pressure to deliver coming in from all angles I just found myself losing it. Crying all the time, worse because when I mentioned that I was dealing with anxiety to my direct supervisor she responded that she didn’t care about my anxiety she just wanted the work done. That really stressed me out and for a moment I couldn’t cope, I hated my job and could not really genuinely deal with my supervisor without feeling like I didn’t matter.

I do feel stuck all the time. Trying to fit in but also trying to follow my own voice and creativity. This then leads to imposter syndrome and feelings of not being good enough. 

Rejection is also something that has weighed me down as a creative, but it’s something that happens a lot. Not everyone will like the work that I produce. So I have been learning to be okay with that.  

How do you take care of your mental health?

I love nature so sometimes I just look at videos or images of nature or take a walk in nature after work. Thank God for working from home. I also listen to music a lot. In fact, music is my go-to. I do meditation and exercise. Reading books and articles about stuff I will be feeling also helps me. And sometimes just breaking from social media.

Has last year’s hardships changed your creatives’ relationship with their work and their sense of self?

In a way it has. It was easy to get burnt out last year with the nature of my work. I hardly took proper breaks and the shift to working from home somehow made it seem like I had more hours of working. My sleeping got really terrible. I hardly slept. This really just led to me hating my work at some point, feeling like an imposter somehow, had anxiety a lot and lost confidence in my work. However, I started making deliberate changes to the way I work and sleep. I put in time for taking breaks and time to switch off. Lately I’ve been learning to get 6-7 hours of sleep by trying to sleep early and practicing daily affirmations to pour into myself. 

Does daily life as a creative give you any anxiety, the tight deadlines and dealing with different characters?

Oh yes, all the time. I’m an introvert and dealing with people is really hard for me. I get anxiety just from talking to people. And then the work pressure sometimes just makes it work.

Do you you ever feel disconnected with your work.

At times I do. There are moments when I create something and I am totally not feeling it at all. Others may feel it but I will not because I would be disconnected to it. And at times when I wake up to think do I really have to do this again, lol.

Do you think the odds of mental health issues are higher on creatives.

I think they are. Based from my own research, depression and anxiety is 3 times more higher in creatives. Because we put ourselves out there when we create. We subject ourselves to being judged and our work being criticized.