IN HER THOUGHTS

Dear Old Self, it has been a long time since we have talked. Your silence even to your inner thoughts is really deafening. Are you okay? Why is it so hard to open up – or at least to yourself? Just allowing yourself to feel everything, letting emotions play out and not be such an emotionless creature. I know you been through the worst and you bury it in your deep depths and at the back of your mind. Daddy died when you were just an infant, neglect from your blood, you weren’t born with a silver spoon, heartbreaks, and fear of losing what is left of your family ties you down.  "Suppress it, suppress it", you tell yourself. Wearing them out of sight, out of mind mentality with pride. As long it is not visible you bury it and choose what to remember. The bad experience and pain are evaded at any cost, of all that, it has left you on a defensive mode and a runner. It has become your defensive mechanism to protect what is left of your heart. Your search in the depths of ou

2018 came and went… The question that remains what did you do for yourself? Whether it is personal advancement or just appreciating yourself.  Do this practice with me... Close your eyes and reminisce about 2018. What were you doing? Did it have your best interests at heart? Not to please the next person or align with your family or society’s expectations.  I say, rather focus on you - the person in the mirror. Did you go for that skinny dipping on your bucket list or cut off toxic people without worrying about what they would say? Kudos to you if you did, however, if you are on the other side. Well! Don’t despair, take this year and activate your selfish mood. Yess being selfish is okay for your own mental health and inner peace. You have to love yourself more. It is from the tenants of self-love that influence your choices, how you carry yourself and handle life problems. Grow a state of appreciation to nurture your physical, psychological and spiritual growth.

Rejection is the most painful feeling a person can ever experience. The thought of there being a slight chance that you weren’t good enough or couldn’t cut it is awful. It makes one question a lot of things. Where did I go wrong? Did I try too hard? What was the deal breaker that ruled me out? All you are left with are unanswered questions that weigh down your self-worth and potential. The most painful question is whether you will ever be good enough? The rejection that comes with reasons is more soothing and bearable. The worst is when you are told that you didn’t make it without any explanation on where you fell short, whether it was bad communication skills, personal inadequacy or intellectual short fail. In our daily life rejection comes unnoticed, it is a thing no one is prepared for. The words, “sorry you didn’t make it”, “our sincere apologies” or any other phrases they use to romanticize the rejection never gets old. It humbles you, even grown men or intellectuals’ face

Love! Let’s talk about L.O.V.E. The most satisfying feeling when intentions are in sync and if, you play your cards right. One complex topic, that doesn’t have a one-fits-all formula but yet the red flags somehow match. I remember at the genesis of this month, word on the streets was if your relationships survive December then it’s real. It made me wonder what it is about December that rocks the boat. What about those that start dating in December? Is it real or just relationships of convenience? Some people feel the need to be single this time of year – the season brings party frenzy and a time to be jovial. Dealing with the ‘where are you’ and ‘who are you with’ can be a problem. It can be a cue for simmering relationship problems to boil over, which can be crunch time for many couples. This is a common December song to which anyone can now sing along. What about those that find ‘love’ in this hectic month? Is it real or fake? Being in a relationship with someone you lov

Of the 25 % tax and cash shortages, you would think Christmas this year should be canceled. Is it possible?  I wish!!! With our income cut in more than half with the US dollar to bond rate. There is a need to make sacrifices and learn to live on a tight budget. Christmas is an expensive time of year. From gifts to decorations, parties, food, travel and other costs. The holidays can really throw your financial plans off course. So, to prevent yet another Christmas where you spend money that you don’t have, here are ideas on how to enjoy on a shoestring budget whilst avoiding debt. US dollar price tags - yet you receive bond notes which is a strain already, keep it simple. Sit down and figure out your income versus expenses, find out how much flexible spending money there is, have a slow spending Christmas and finally “live within your means.” Family gatherings are a life saver this Christmas. I know they come with drama and stress, you have to put up with that noisy aunt or

“If you are emotionally attached to your tribe, religion or political leaning to the point that truth and justice become secondary considerations, your education is useless. Your exposure is useless. If you cannot reason beyond petty sentiments, you are a liability to mankind.” Dr. Chuba  Okadigbo Emotions versus reason – it is one of the oldest and most epic standoffs we know. A common puzzle to most people. Up to this day, people don’t know where to draw the line – making emotional or logical decisions. Take yourself back to those dreadful resolves you have made and pondered what was I thinking? Well, there is a high possibility you were not thinking and you merely acting on emotions, not logic. A social science researcher Brenel’ Brown says, “Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us.” My sixth sense tells me you must be wondering what sense of belonging has anything to do with emotion versus logic. Let me explain! Without carefully guidi

Sifting through the thousand words, known and unknown Falling deep, drawn in – seduced by the beauty of life A prolonged and repeated reality, product of what you create Nurture good thoughts to awaken greatness from within Conform not to standards, set your own… Live beyond the limitations – remain trusting even the unseen Appreciate the man in the mirror and be thankful Believe in yourself, if you win in your mind  You can conquer everything. It is your greatest weapon Keep a winner’s attitude in your mind, through it  And your attitude you will rise and access doors beyond Pay attention to what gets you to your destination Walk in wisdom, think and make calculated moves Prepare for what you dream of, mimic what you want to be While you learn, assume the role like it’s already yours You are extraordinary in your ordinary Push yourself and you will be unconquerable When you fall in the face of failure and rejection Amid the crisis of yo