If Feelings Could Talk!

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Every day you wake up, open yourself to the world or keep to yourself you're bound to feel some type of way. It may be positive or negative, meaning it's a stimulus to what you expose yourself prompting automatic reactive behaviour. This is an essential survival need, our coping mechanism differ from one person to another. Ever feel like a victim in nearly every situation? You might be part of the people we're talking about today.

Linking back to my last series I Forgot How To Feel there's a flip side where people feel  but negatively. Allow me to take you to an Instagram post, "What if mental health disorders are actually unresolved emotional trauma in disguise." It got me thinking that there are so many contributing factors that make us and the way we regulate emotions. In this case having a victim mentality. 

If you're susceptible to chaos or see yourself as a victim in many situations, you're drawn into it or crave it more. The thing is we're what we spend our time on. Your system follows patterns, so it knows how to be because of familiarity, and it's the only way your system is convinced to act in every situation even when you're supposed to take responsibility and accountability.  Like a proverb says there's no smoke without fire. 

The victim mentality rests on three things (according to the Healthline): 

• Bad things happen and will keep happening.

• Other people or circumstances are to blame.

• Any efforts to create change will fail.

It takes to Takura's meant lyrics, 'Negative energy getaway.' Some people seem to wallow in negativity all the time and they show little to no interest in trying to make changes. I'm one person who panics when things don't go the way I planned, in the past, these would lead to negative self-talk. 'What made you think you would do this.' or 'Maybe it wasn't meant for me' the latter has been used by many people loosely but in actual reality that's negative self-talk triggered by challenges you have faced. So every new difficulty that comes reinforce that idea. That's when others would ask, If not now then when?

The build-up of emotions, whether it's from series disappointment, change of fate, upbringing and life eventually take a toll on ones well being. Highlighted in the I Forgot How To Feel series that continued trauma is toxic and it eventually weighs you down. It's important to realize that pain and distress often fuel victim mentality. This is the whole point of this post, not to point out the seen but uproot the cause that most people are oblivious of. The mindset is a reaction to true victimization from past trauma, betrayal, co-dependency or manipulation. So in every situation ask before you judge.

We're not saying we should wallow in our pain or past, many situations require some degree of personal responsibility. Acknowledge your pain, but when we fall we get up, dust ourselves and challenge ourselves to take control of the little than we can. Empower ourselves, feel and take accountability. Imagine if feelings could talk, and had a voice, all the pain and distress would be avoided.

Thank you for being In Her Thoughts. If you want to take a victim mentality test click here.