IN HER THOUGHTS

📸photographers.official Flow like a river my thoughts, One, two, and three somehow I can’t get to four, I can’t think straight, with this black shadow hovering, I always go back to what if I just disappear, Maybe it will make some people live with a smile, Finally, their burden is gone, bye they wave rigorously, At the back of their mind anxiety creeps to celebrate victory, I’m gone, the useless, no ambition, inconsiderate imbecile. They would order a feast, at that favourite joint of theirs, Such a lively place and full life,  A meeting place without discrimination, The Cîroc type of rich, cider gang and brandy boys, No one cared, it was all about food, music and good vibes, It was at this time I felt alive, a day off from my dead, soulless self, I was no longer moody, careless and inconsiderate in their eyes, I few vhoshos and rhumba dance to their entertainment, Somehow the complaints faded, I lived in such moments, A bottle of Jameson ...

📸photographers.official For some, being African almost means being constantly against all things that seem westernised. In Africa there are stuff that are referred to as “ white people ’ s things” and mental health is included. This really shows we need a transformation of the mind on mental health across the continent.   I grew up knowing that most people with mental illness were considered bewitched (yeaaah,  that voodoo stuff, if you wrong your neighbor they make you go crazy kinda stuff). Also, I learnt at a very young age that being mentally distressed is a weakness. In primary school, kids diss each other to test each other ’ s mental endurance. Those who break down easily are made fun of, with very little knowledge of the effect it has on them. Personally, I always underestimated the harm in jesting at another person ’ s expense. But I digress. We all suffer mental distress, but I have come to learn that those who get the worst of it, we are the one's who aren ’ t ...

@Miss_Thandie Well, young people coming from varsity believe that working or should I say being employed translates to a person having it all and it's all glitz and glam but for most people, it's HELL, LOL. Problem is we see people when they have made it and we envy the success but shan the hard work behind every success. Yes, being employed is one of the nicest and greatest achievements one person could ever ask for, or should I explicitly say from this part of the world. But you know what going to work takes time off the taking care of ourself tab. H ave you ever had a bad day in your life at work, you literally feel like you're suffocating? Well, let me take you through my whole experience of working and trying to keep sane. Being employed for the first time in life brings all sorts of blossoms in life and I really thought that when I get a job everything will fall into place. However, it's a different story I guess I was wrong.  The joy of having a payslip gave me...

📸the.photographers.official For me, work has become a major part of my life. I spent more time working than I actually do on myself. Basically, it's what pays the bill so I gotta put more energy where the money is. I've come to see being paid, having a fulfilling job and being mentally well is a scam. You can never have it all. If you do, give yourself a tap on the back. The grim reality is you've to forgo one or the other. Well, in my experience to say the least. Take a deep breath and read that again. It's hitting home right? That's me right now, taking a trip down my past and present experiences and seeing it's either I had none of the those at some point, maybe one along the way and now I've totally neglected my self wellness and awareness. The question if you can't make it to your own to-do list/bucket list is it even worth it? Is it good for you? Life, in general, gets on top us now and again. Sometimes work-related. Sometimes it's human rela...

📸photographers.official It's almost 7 AM but right now I don't really care. In fact, the clamour as boys rush to finish up and head to class is most irritating to me. My tummy grumbles. I don't recall when I last put something in it. For the past three days, my appetite has been shite. Yesterday I tried the fries Ian brought me but threw them up almost as soon as they landed in my tummy. "Hey man, you need to get out of bed," Ian says. "Class starts in a jiffy." "I'm not attending."  To be honest, the class is the last thing on my mind.  I'm thinking of the tiny blue pills the school doctor gave me for my condition. After which he recommended bed rest since they'd leave me feeling drowsy. Apparently, t here's nothing much wrong with me. And that I should simply sleep my trouble off.  "This will be the third day in a row." Ian has a worried look. "Don't you think you should go home instead?"  Ian seems to...

In Her Thoughts Hi there, I'm back! It's been a while. Between work and relationshiping, writing had taken back seat. Not intentionally but it just didn't make it to the to-do list. Somehow I was too tired, or too busy or too... well, not just motivated. I've seen good moments worth long paragraphs of words. I've seen sad moments that suck all words in a vacuum you can't seem to ink them. Maybe that's the reason why I've stared at a blank page/screen for long knowing what I want to write but failing to express through ink. Creative block is better at least there is effort. My body was tired. Status update, I landed a new job, HOORAY! A momentary bliss of assurance that I'm good at something if I put my all. Being part of social change, looking back and say the day wasn't bad after all, I helped a soul. Fulfilling. Yes. Demanding. Yes. Draining. By now you get where I'm heading.  Maybe that's the reason why I've been quiet. The feeling...

I’m staring at this page It’s been a while I divorced the mirror I can’t stand the view It confronts me And that’s a no. I see an image A reflection of living on the edge Pain at the tip of my eyes Tired of holding this river Heavy on demons Being strong but broken inside Ouch, it hurts right now. Nobody knows my pain But I have one more fight. So… Lend me your smile, days are gone I know not mine Lend me your height, I’ve heard everything looks good from a birds view Spirits high, a scenic view of highs Not the marijuana high, but a hopeful view undiluted by lows I want to be high all the time, please lend me your height for this climb. Today it hurts, but the sun will rise and we will try again.

📸the.photographers.official  Every day you wake up, open yourself to the world or keep to yourself you're bound to feel some type of way. It may be positive or negative, meaning it's a stimulus to what you expose yourself prompting automatic reactive behaviour. This is an essential survival need, our coping mechanism differ from one person to another. Ever feel like a victim in nearly every situation? You might be part of the people we're talking about today. Linking back to my last series I Forgot How To Feel there's a flip side where people feel  but negatively. Allow me to take you to an Instagram post, "What if mental health disorders are actually unresolved emotional trauma in disguise." It got me thinking that there are so many contributing factors that make us and the way we regulate emotions. In this case having a victim mentality.  If you're susceptible to chaos or see yourself as a victim in many situations, you're drawn into...

📸the.photographers.official  Have you ever been so out of touch with yourself? You’re one person when you’re in public and another when you’re alone. Moments where you’re shaken with the words you say or how you act when you’re around certain company. It’s like you’ve bipolar personalities, each day you see yourself fade away to a point you can’t recognize the person in the mirror. Adjusting to an environment it’s all fun and games, I highly recommend it’s a needed skill. But don’t get too comfortable in that place, remember there’s a time and place for everything. The question is when is it too much? And is it worth depriving yourself to become a social chameleon? If you have had these feelings, and you’re constantly trying to prove your worth to people. You seriously need to shift your thinking. Entertaining people who are always on the bubble, who can talk about you any way they like and not treat you well should be the thing of the past. Sometimes we tolerate cra...

📸the.photographers.official  There’s nothing more fulfilling than a sip of positivity on a mundane day. It warms the soul, the push that’s much needed to get things done. Even Mr Ego. Mrs Independent. Sir Workaholic. And Madam Creativity needs it. No matter how you think you're built, we all need something to hope for. That which drives us to wake up every morning beaming with hope on our sail through the waves of life. It's a new month. This September let your hair down, chanel your energy and take self-doubt by it's horns. Of course, you’ll second guess yourself 80% of the time, the shadow of dissatisfaction can be intense. But do your best anyway, live out each moment to its fullest moment. This also translates to throwing your all every time at anything you'll be doing. Shoot for perfection. Yes, I said it. The P-word is controversial. People gasp for air as if it's profanity. It’s overzealous some might say, but if you shoot for average you’...

📸shubilak If I Stay would you hold me like the first time, Filled with assurance and words pregnant with emotions Only our hearts know, Every heartbeat, a love song. A safe haven in your arms. If I stay would you hold me like you used to, Where you did all you could, Effort was your middle name, Words of affirmation were in your vocabulary, Acts of service your daily workout to burn out the anxiety and negativity. If I stay would you finish your sentences, Use all syllables in your words to show you're here, The shorthand always feels like it's rushed, Would you make me your main plan, Not the 'Oh sorry, I was about to', 'I'm so busy right now' or 'What if we do it tomorrow?' last minute texts. If I stay would you be more intentional and not get too comfortable, Care a little bit more about my day and dreams, It's all in the little things, But they varnished with the sunsets, And present new dilemmas as the sun rose,...

📸the.photographers.official  Love is a beautiful thing. Is it a state of being or a feeling? When people say they have fallen out of love, does it mean it fades away? Or maybe it's a state of being that stays inside of us, that needs to be fed, nurtured and realized it lives within us? Excuse me and my crazy thoughts, it's a mixture of insomnia and other times I swear it feels like I've been stung by a tsetse fly which makes me drowsy and my bed is my escape, for hours a temporary relief. So when you say "I love you" to your partner, friend or family what does it entail. I've seen videos that align love with words like sacrifice, compassion, respect, patience, kind, selfless etc. You know the rest. Then I thought maybe it's something that's a work in progress and it takes you and me to cultivate it. Teamwork makes the dream work! And for sure after labouring it bears good harvest, so love is fruits of your labour. It's not all rose...

📸the.photographers.official  I’m a girl who has always been one of the guys, but also very much a girl; I don't really blend perfectly into either sides. Sounds familiar? Welcome to the club. I remember growing up, I would pick soccer or wrestling over playing with dolls. Hanging with the guys over girls. I still choose sweat pants and t-shirts over dresses. It’s apparently thought as unladylike in most parts of the world or rather a glorified brainwash to instil gender roles. After a couple of family interventions, a wardrobe revamp and shipping off to college I slowly embraced it. Because unfortunately the, ‘She will grow out of it’ seemed like it was never going to happen. The good thing about having guy friends is there are a bunch of perks, free 24/7 bodyguards on duty, a glimpse into the not so complicated mind of guys and less drama etc. However, too much of something can take a toll on how you look at things. ‘She is such a guy’ I have heard it a couple of time...

📸Tumblr I could say getting in a relationship is easy and staying in one requires attention and effort. But we know how it is now if you’re really looking to date, like date date, not just for fun it is as hard as it is to keep one. We talked about educating yourself about your partner’s mental health , being there for your partner in the way they need and lastly we're talking about how to be intentional in your relationship with yourself and the people around you? I saved it for the last and in a minute you’ll know why. 'Intentionality means paying attention: it means doing things on purpose – not passively, not reflexively, not because we have to. Doing something to get as much out of it as possible, whatever that happens to mean in context.' With self, it means ensuring you’re taking care of both your mental and physical health in the sense that you’re in-taking what your body, mind and soul needs, you’re enjoying your company and you're self-aware. Not...

📸the.photographers.official  A quick recap, we talked about how we block our emotions . It seems like a superpower when you do it and we’ve said statements like ‘I don’t have time to feel’ or ‘I’m protecting my heart’. But if we're being honest it's a temporary fix, one way or the other you’ll need to address your emotions for the sake of your health. We also pointed out the traits that people with repressed emotions inhibit and their potential causes. So now you’re in too deep, how do you save yourself from yourself?  Source: Healthline Before we get into it, it’s not going to be easy I tell you but it will take practice, like a lot. It’s harder to break habits than making them. Habits are the small decisions we make every day and the actions we perform every day. Our lives are essentially a sum of our habits and what we continuously do. How you push away emotions? How guided you are? How it’s difficult for you to be loving or affectionate? What you spend you...

📸the.photographers.official  I want to reach for the stars; They sit pretty, I want in on their secret; The sparkle that's appealing to the eye yet dangerous if you busk in it's full glow; Fearless with a dash of elegance; Firm yet soothing; Shines brightest in the dark; At the face of adversity that's when the queen in her sit on the thrown; Adjusts her crown and bring darkness to it's knees; She doesn't only shine for herself but her glow become light to others; She's not selfish to lend her light, she paves the way for others; That's who I want to be Becoming. Happy women's day and be the light #EachForEqual.

📸the.photographers.official Not everyone finds expressing themselves easy. In many cases, people block / repress their emotions, by unconsciously avoiding them. I’m that person, expressing myself just doesn’t natural to me. Let’s say I have a fall out with anyone but I still have other responsibilities, I usually decide to suppress or push aside the feelings and act like nothing happened. Toxic much? Yes, the thing is that it doesn’t mean the feelings simply disappear but sooner rather than later they’ll need to be addressed. I was researching and I might have to find the answer, repressed emotions can eventually affect your mood. The reason might be prolonged emotions are eventually affecting your mood. For me sometimes I vacillate between two emotions. I feel trapped in a conflicting emotional state, I can be eager and excited to write, while at the same time harbouring fears about not being able to complete it successfully. So every time I hit the publish button I would...