IN HER THOUGHTS

Love! Let’s talk about L.O.V.E. The most satisfying feeling when intentions are in sync and if, you play your cards right. One complex topic, that doesn’t have a one-fits-all formula but yet the red flags somehow match. I remember at the genesis of this month, word on the streets was if your relationships survive December then it’s real. It made me wonder what it is about December that rocks the boat. What about those that start dating in December? Is it real or just relationships of convenience? Some people feel the need to be single this time of year – the season brings party frenzy and a time to be jovial. Dealing with the ‘where are you’ and ‘who are you with’ can be a problem. It can be a cue for simmering relationship problems to boil over, which can be crunch time for many couples. This is a common December song to which anyone can now sing along. What about those that find ‘love’ in this hectic month? Is it real or fake? Being in a relationship with someone you lov...

Of the 25 % tax and cash shortages, you would think Christmas this year should be canceled. Is it possible?  I wish!!! With our income cut in more than half with the US dollar to bond rate. There is a need to make sacrifices and learn to live on a tight budget. Christmas is an expensive time of year. From gifts to decorations, parties, food, travel and other costs. The holidays can really throw your financial plans off course. So, to prevent yet another Christmas where you spend money that you don’t have, here are ideas on how to enjoy on a shoestring budget whilst avoiding debt. US dollar price tags - yet you receive bond notes which is a strain already, keep it simple. Sit down and figure out your income versus expenses, find out how much flexible spending money there is, have a slow spending Christmas and finally “live within your means.” Family gatherings are a life saver this Christmas. I know they come with drama and stress, you have to put up with that noisy aunt...

“If you are emotionally attached to your tribe, religion or political leaning to the point that truth and justice become secondary considerations, your education is useless. Your exposure is useless. If you cannot reason beyond petty sentiments, you are a liability to mankind.” Dr. Chuba  Okadigbo Emotions versus reason – it is one of the oldest and most epic standoffs we know. A common puzzle to most people. Up to this day, people don’t know where to draw the line – making emotional or logical decisions. Take yourself back to those dreadful resolves you have made and pondered what was I thinking? Well, there is a high possibility you were not thinking and you merely acting on emotions, not logic. A social science researcher Brenel’ Brown says, “Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us.” My sixth sense tells me you must be wondering what sense of belonging has anything to do with emotion versus logic. Let me explain! Without carefully g...

Sifting through the thousand words, known and unknown Falling deep, drawn in – seduced by the beauty of life A prolonged and repeated reality, product of what you create Nurture good thoughts to awaken greatness from within Conform not to standards, set your own… Live beyond the limitations – remain trusting even the unseen Appreciate the man in the mirror and be thankful Believe in yourself, if you win in your mind  You can conquer everything. It is your greatest weapon Keep a winner’s attitude in your mind, through it  And your attitude you will rise and access doors beyond Pay attention to what gets you to your destination Walk in wisdom, think and make calculated moves Prepare for what you dream of, mimic what you want to be While you learn, assume the role like it’s already yours You are extraordinary in your ordinary Push yourself and you will be unconquerable When you fall in the face of failure and rejection Amid the cri...

Why are human assets not mentioned in the balance sheet? In financial terms employees are seen as an expense but many studies define happy engaged employees as the most valuable assets. Every business needs motivated employees for it to progress. Only if business owners knew the importance of keeping their workers motivated and treating them with respect. As human beings we thrive on acknowledgement, respect and motivation. It feeds our soul and the end product is what makes most companies successful. Have you ever wondered why you are so disconnected at work? The only thing that you look up to is your pay day. This is not how it is supposed to be, only if employers valued their workers as much as they value their investment. What they miss is that it is them that guarantee return on investment. If as an employer you find yourself losing employees and have no familiar face from when you opened business there is need to reevaluate your business and personal ethics. Do you rem...

In the pale beyond the moon, falling at the predator’s bay.  Broken, Bruised and Buried Corpses pile up in soaring violence.  Overturned are the struggles to find peace basking in the sun Your eyes filled with terror and pain-laden tears It rains down unleashing its fury, a downpour Of wrath leaving one with a shattered soul Amidst the terrifying news, that oozes out daily on our television I wonder if our world will ever be safe again Demons play ‘Armored Knights’, fists of thunder makes not the man We are living in the days were wrong is slowly becoming right Ignorance is bliss, refuse to settle for pain And let such men hearken not your voice Render not your power, hold dear your sanity Unmarred by GBV press freely up the road of truth Don’t be ashamed, refuse them the will power To make you defenseless and useless SPEAK out - take at a choice, you have a voice A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step We have to ...

When people show you who they believe them the first time. The signs are always there and we may be oblivious to see them. In life, the little things people do show more than the surface and we tend to overlook them. It is those little things that make a person. So if a person treats you some kind of way or says something that makes you question their intentions believe it the first time. Do not wait for the second, third or fourth time to make it sink in. Don’t let yourself believe it is the slip of the tongue or they said it due to pressure. The behavior that they show you, it is who they are. In most cases where we let the little things pass, they are the same things that will be problematic in the future in our relationships.   Before you act or speak make it a priority to put yourself in their shoes. There is always a nicer way to voice out your opinions without hurting people’s feelings or make them feel some time of way. In the words of Rabison Shumba, “Be watc...

Late in the summer of 1980, at around eight o’clock she received tragic news.  She trudged down the bleak white corridor which was slowly fading to a cream like color. Her mind was filled with images of her Robert. Her husband - her soul mate had passed on and left their two younglings in her care. A young and quite reserved lady sobbed in her grief. “How had this happened to me?” She asked herself. After only three years of marriage, she felt robbed. “Lord why have you forsaken me, why did you have to take him away from me.” Like a lonely star she simmered away in the depths of the universe, the voices of people around slowly faded away as she was in deep thoughts. The sounds made by mourners became a somber melody to her loss. To lose a husband, a father of her two beautiful angels was utterly devastating. In her mind, the people around could not possibly understand the depths she felt. “Be strong,” they said, and extended their condolences. No one had prepared her for this...

Communication is an important element in any kind of relationship. Most people misunderstand the difference between talking and communicating. One of the most irritating behaviors millenniums have is being poor listeners. Why are they not listening? Is it because the advice is poor, they don’t regard what you are saying or they really want their opinion to be validated? If I’m, to be honest, we listen to respond, defend or blame rather than understand.  In the words of Stephen Covey, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply" As humans, we are emotional beings and it is those emotions that affect the way we communicate which leave things unsaid and unsolved. Nobody is perfect, and this extends to our communication skills. Sometimes you will think you are a good communicator without knowing you have defensive listening skills. Take yourself back to that conversation that you had with your sibling, lover or colleague ...

Did you know the brain is the most powerful existing supercomputer ever built? So rugged and elegant yet so vulnerable. The brain can help you create multiple personalities in order to defend itself so as to maintain an equilibrium, a stable form of homeostasis. As the saying goes, “Be nice to people, you never know the battles they are fighting.” A report from Bulawayo24 has shown that 75% of Zimbabwean people have once suffered from “mental issues”. As much we might use “tough love” approach to depression and suicide cases are skyrocketing. We are a nation that always jokes around even with the serious and important matters. But can you blame us? It has become our mental defensive mechanism. Suppressed feelings, emotions, dysfunctional families and brain chemistry even failure of companies to pay out pensioners (the negative aspects of the mental psyche of an individual) have a huge impact on our daily lives. Depression is characterized by sadness, loss of interest or plea...

Where art thou sleep? Far away - beyond the reach Counting on of no avail Tick tock, tick tock Restless mind irks Soaked in deep thoughts I can’t see you, walls of unsleeping thickens Neither sign of dreams nor sleep Heavy eyelids – the struggle persists Once again you remain invincible Even night has fallen asleep Here I lie awake having a conversation  with my imaginary friend I stare into the distance Greeting restlessness and over thinking They now know me by name Rendered vulnerable I had become  With nothing but sleepless promises and pain The ceiling had become my own cinema A front row seat I had earned Lights, camera, action!!!  The night was ours

Brows knitted into a frown, a story within Lonely graves, in it - darkness dwelled Coffins of pale dead eyes telling a story A tale of a needle of dead eyes looking for a thread An ocean of secrets lies within Deeper the ocean, deeper the secrets A journey to a never-ending land Drowning inside her heart Like a wilted flower, her eyes lifeless Limp and lifeless, color sipping out To be replaced with an ashen pale of death Darkness, loneliness, and struggle devoured, As hope, feigned innocence fled Dying into herself, a voiceless object Pain exuded from her gunmetal tired eyes Tear-filled and weary Soft wisps of her grey eyes Rimmed with darkness A hollow of madness A large pool of darkness Bruised chips of emeralds searching for depths

The world has evolved, roles have changed but somehow there hasn’t been much change in women supporting each other. I’m not dismissing the efforts that have been made so far, but it is very alarming how as women we feed our egos at the expense of each other. We rather have it all than share the glory, success or even give a helping hand to other women starting their career path. It is a reality that most people avoid but it is happening. I've had a situation where a friend would rather stay quiet than share career opportunities that they come across. It was not because she didn’t have a job but the idea of me having a chance to succeed pained her. That’s when it dawned on me that as women we are our own enemy. We would rather see other women suffer rather than lend a helping hand.  I don’t know if it is a self-esteem problem or what. I know this statement will stir some hostility but it’s the plain truth - at least in my eyes. From what I have gathered, as women we are afr...

Human beings are essentially storytellers. Our identity and image are shaped by the stories we share. In a world obsessed and filled with strong emphasis on image, it is important to constantly affirm your own identity. Crafting and narrating your story clearly and concisely to motivate your audience and differentiate yourself is fundamental. Whether you are a student, an entrepreneur or blogger, branding is essential. Majority of millennials think of celebrities as the only people that are consciously building their own brand. That has changed & nearly anyone with the zeal to put in the work and constantly increase their value can build their brand.  Personal Branding is the in thing now, it has gained traction and is worth investing in.  With the growth of technology and many platforms it came with, personal branding is now easier. This is true for people who are willing to invest in their brands. But what exactly is personal branding? Well, personal branding is mark...

We all have inner battles, moments of self-doubt, insecurity and discouragement. Moments when you feel like there is no reason to go on with your life. Many people suffer in silence, not because they want to but no one bothers to extend words or give their shoulder for them to lean on. It would seem that it’s hard for some people to give words of empowerment, encouragement or just listening. We live in a world where people concern themselves with their own well-being, as long they are doing well nothing else matters. The world is now marred with suicides, domestic violence, depression and murders. What are we doing as a people, family or community to make life better for others? Can you recall the last time somebody was kind to you or vice versa? Look within your heart and notice the feelings there. If you cannot help someone at least be considerate enough to lend an ear or give them a word of encouragement. That simple gesture can make someone’s life a whole lot better, It may...

Who am I? I wonder if I can recognize myself if I look in the mirror. Voices in my head telling me to be myself but who exactly am I? I don’t think I can ever find a way back to my true self. Self -identity is what is lacking; I no longer think I can get back to what I was. It would be a journey to the unknown. Who am I?… buried in the makeup, the tight dresses with half my ass out, artificial hair and nails so long like those used in Nigerian African movies by witches. I know right, all in the name of being a cool kid. It is such a shame, is all of this worth losing my identity for? I don’t know. The pain of trying to fit in, but I need this smokescreen, it boosts my confidence. Without the decoy I don’t believe I can stand on my own. Gone are the days where my opinions and views were mine, now they are shadowed with modern day influence. The liberty of doing what I want is gradually fading, now the cool kid doctrines determine what I do and how I do it. I have incarcerated my...

Life! It is unpredictable, one moment you feel like everything is going your way and the next thing it seems like all odds are against you. We came to the world with our talents but we are groomed to think that education is the gateway to the pleasures of life. The biggest scam in history is “Education is the key to success.” Truth is, it’s not the only key… Everyone has an idea of who they want to be in life, and I also had a picture of what I wanted to do after college. I saw myself landing a job at a top Media Company and earning a decent salary. My dreams heavily depended on the traditional education-to-job system. A contingency plan was never in my mind and the time came when I had to apply for a job. Reality hit me hard, my email is filled with dozens of unanswered applications. Slowly the dream is fading… Up until that time I realized that the approach of a degree being a guarantee of a job is wrong. A good life means more than just education… but none of us are sure wha...

Are you in a relationship? How good is your better half? These questions drown many people in sorrow and suck the life out of them. It might have happened or it’s happening in your walk in the dating life. Being in a place where all you can do is sigh! That conversation that plays well in your head, but somehow your lips get stuck and cannot utter a word. The questions confuse you, they take every word from your lips. What makes it a dumbfounding experience, the questions always come when you have no partner or just had a breakup. To save face you even go out of your way to explain, ‘we just broke up’, ‘good men are hard to find’ or any phrases that romanticize your horror. Diverting their thoughts of you being a loner as the center of your existence. Being deprived of attending couple’s events with colleagues, friends and family. The excuses gets old. The ‘I don’t have a partner’ song slowly becomes embarrassing to utter and staying in your own shell seems to be a better escape to s...

📷  Isaiah Mcclean Some women struggle, some are waiting for something or someone to come along and save them. They suppress the power within them, praying for a miracle being the miracle & following their own bliss. They are trapped in a fantasy of a knight in a shiny armor coming to their rescue. You probably don’t want to hear this but, you can be your own savior, you can be strong for you. Take the bull by its horns, Take charge of your life and not settling for less than you deserve. The pain of seeing a hopeless woman is so excruciating. Refuse to be a victim of circumstances. What is even worse is when a woman takes comfort or compromise and be content with whatever they are facing. Is this our destiny? I believe there is more to life, it takes you, the woman in the mirror to explore it. Make the most of your life. Have the courage to take decisions regarding your life. Learn to say No boldly without hesitation & without having to explain yourself. Woman, ...

Heartbreak, typical lies and misleading actions. It has always been obvious but this was quite a unique occurrence. He found her at her weakness, knew her scars and flaws. He knew she wasn’t ready for anything but somehow made her believe this one would work out He lured her with his promises and visions of better days he was going to bring. Bit by bit, her old heart was revived, and his promises made her think that finally it was her time. Everything was flowing, she tried to be optimistic telling her wounded soul that she wouldn’t Get hurt again. She let him in, showed him her vulnerability, the dirt and gave him the key to her heart. It felt good, it felt right and it felt like home. At least that is what she thought Blinded by his love…her poor soul ignored the signs and red flags. In her mind she kept telling herself he wouldn’t do anything hurtful. She found solace in his promises, words of love and the plans they made. It was perfect! She focused on ...